Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Is “Coffee” a “Date”?

I learnt of an interesting story recently. A dad proposed to his daughter that they go on a date--you know to just ‘catch up’ and that sort of thing. This dad is a big believer in investing in his familial relationships, though he doesn’t always get or make the time. The morning of the date, he said to his daughter, ‘Should we go for our coffee about 11am?’ To which she replied very innocently, ‘Okay… [then a moment later] …what time will we go for our date?’

There was some obvious confusion with the English language here, as the daughter knew a coffee shop was the destination for the date. Did this not also speak volumes for the richness and importance of that relationship? The daughter was going on a “date,” and not just for “coffee.”

It reminded me of the value in the meaning of words, and also how flippantly we use them at times.

When we’re ‘dating’ for instance (romantically, and not with daughters, sons or other family members) the generic ‘let’s do coffee/lunch’ no longer goes, does it? It’s a little too casual, unless, of course, the relationship is really fizzing along… then it’s no problem at all!

We men, particularly, must closely watch our selection of words as our more sensitive and adhering women are… well… they’re looking for congruence--for want of a better word--i.e. say what you mean and mean what you say.

Dating is not as simple an activity as it seems and men again are particularly called to focus attentively on the task at hand, particularly when the sparks no longer fly spontaneously off the ‘love wheel’ of the relationship.

And why do I know? That daughter referred to above is mine. She merely demonstrated in an innocent way what many adult women learn to do quite intentionally.
Going for coffee is not always a date, but then again, there are times when there is no better date. I'm not sure I completely get it, but that's okay. I'm a man.

Copyright © 2009, S. J. Wickham. All Rights Reserved Worldwide.

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