Living in the miracle of the in-between

We’ve probably all heard it said: “I’m not yet who I want to be, but at least I’m not who I used to be!”

It’s a variation of the old John Newton quote: “I am not what I ought to be, I am not what I want to be, I am not what I hope to be in another world; but still I am not what I once used to be, and by the grace of God I am what I am.”

The wisdom in this is in holding tensions.  Please explain?  All through life we’re given situations of opposite designation that we’re required to harmonise; situations that are impossible to harmonise, unless we hold the tension between two opposites — “like I’m not yet who I desperately want to be” WITH “but I’m not who I was.”

The in-between is also that place where we’ve lost what we once cherished, and because it’s gone, there’s grief.  The new normal hasn’t yet arrived and we may fear that the new normal is far from desired. Perhaps, we may think, THIS in-between place is the new normal, and that is not only frightening it’s demoralising.

So many of us (including yours truly) have spent years in the in-between.  I’ve had three- and four-year periods of being in the in-between.  We can easily start to think that it’s hellish and strongly desire that such periods come to an end.  But there’s actually a lot going on in the in-between time; it’s strongly sanctifying and when God has our attention, we’re in growth mode.  In the in-between we’re sowing hard and applying our faith to the maximum.  In the hope that compels us forward through the journey all the way through ‘hell’ to the other side we resemble a walking, talking miracle.  Faith like this is a miracle of God’s grace operating, living and active, in us.

The in-between feels anything other than miraculous, but it is a time when we shine if our allegiance is with God.  This is what I call living in the miracle of the in-between.  At a time when we would run to any other comfort, we resist all manner of comfort for the comfort of God, which seems least enticing to the world.  Wisdom dictates that within the in-between, God is preparing paradise for those who love him.  When we’re in the in-between, we can say with resigned cheer, It is well with my soul.

Photo by Jude Beck on Unsplash