There are countless things we can learn from challenging times in our lives to support others who are going through similar present crises. Indeed, part of the purpose of facing hardships and trials is what we’ll learn, the resources we gather, the equipping that takes place:
Here are just some of the things depression has taught me:
1. Be gentle and go gently, with yourself and others as best you can. Apologise to yourself or others when you’re harsh. There is such a thing as trying too hard.
2. As a proactive step, pray relentlessly, keeping constant contact the best you can with God.
3. Stay connected to, and be honest with, people you trust. Though it takes all your energy, trust those you can trust and support is right there.
4. Develop and maintain real relationships.
5. Another proactive strategy, throw yourself into the acquisition of virtue. Do the right thing by faith as much as you can.
6. Tomorrow will be different. No matter how bad today was. This, too, shall pass.
7. Ask often, “How important is [this issue], really?” Truly, how important is anything? Just about everything is recoverable.
8. Be at peace with people and with life, as far as it depends on you.
9. Enjoy moments of lightness and hilarity. This is an anxiety-reduction measure.
10. Be whoever you can be for others. Our purposes in life are versatile. But don’t attract unnecessary pressure.
11. Don’t worry about what others think of you regarding mental illness, but also seek to understand them and accept their views — they’re their own and we cannot change how someone views the world and life.
12. Hope will return, as will energy, spark and enthusiasm. Trust this to be a fact by faith, and it will certainly take place at the proper time.
13. Try not to compare yourself with others who seem to ‘have it all together’. Nobody has it all together. Anyone who thinks they do still have this to learn.
14. There are depressed days; it doesn’t automatically mean it’s depression.
15. Everyone experiences grief; grief is not a mental illness. But we often experience depression with grief. Allow it to come and leave. Most bouts of severe grief lasts months, not years.
16. Expect the best and plan for the worst. Be prepared to accept what cannot be changed. Again, go gently.
17. Show grace for those who appear insensitive. They probably aren’t aware or don’t understand. They can be forgiven. They can only see what they can see. Acceptance reduces the pain we experience.
18. Try to learn to say goodbye to things that are no longer helpful. It seems we are missing out even more, but better things are coming. This includes letting go of problematic relationships.
19. Accept the best that you are on any given day. On your worst day, you are still incredible!
20. Smile at yourself in the mirror. Be honest with yourself in the mirror. See yourself. You are seen and loved. Psalm 139 attests to this truth.
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