Biblically, there are four responses to every problem. This
thesis occurs in all our lives each time we encounter a problem. Test this: the
paradigm doesn’t only apply to spiritual decisions.
Before we delve into the four A’s of human response to problems,
let us consider how hard it is to respond the right way to problems. Sometimes we
are too tired to respond the right way. Sometimes we are too proud. Other times
we are too confident. Still at other times we are too lazy.
A warning for you as you decide at this point whether you will
read any further. Try to see your responses of personal control hindering you
reading on. If you read this through it will take five minutes — could be worth
it.
Looking back over a lifetime, we understand our humanity – human
to human – we ALL have regrets (if we are honest) for decisions we made that meant
we sowed negative consequences for ourselves and others. This is in context of:
The purpose of life is doing the right thing.
When we understand this imperative,
we commence a journey of discipleship,
understanding we need guidance.
The beauty in acknowledging our proclivity
for doing wrong is we are humbled enough —
when we are honest —
to follow a better example: Jesus,
the Author and Finisher of our faith.
Doing the right thing in a sustained way
cannot come from within one’s person —
the truth of life is we ALL need a Helper.
Christian discipleship is not just about honouring God. It is
about honouring others, too. Achieving these two aims, God honours us. The
evidence of this is the “inside job” of joy we are granted when we do the right
thing. And, most persuasively, it has a positive, kind impact in another
person’s life.
Some examples of effects of doing the right thing:
· People feel neither judged nor condemned but accepted and loved.
· There is a heartfelt acceptance for one’s own limits.
· People are considered and feel considered even if their needs are not met.
· There is insight, power, and capacity to right wrongs. Yes, a wrong can be righted.
Now, let us explore these four A’s of human response to problems.
I reference the Jesus teaching of the Sower Parable explained, cf.,
Mark 4:13-20 — where this article is inspired from:
Then Jesus said
to them, “Don’t you understand this parable? How then will
you understand any parable? The farmer sows the word. Some people are like seed along the path, where the word is sown. As
soon as they hear it, Satan comes and takes away the word that was sown in
them. Others, like seed sown on rocky places, hear the word and at
once receive it with joy. But since they have no root,
they last only a short time. When trouble or persecution comes because of the
word, they quickly fall away. Still others, like seed
sown among thorns, hear the word; but the worries of
this life, the deceitfulness of wealth and the desires for other things
come in and choke the word, making it unfruitful. Others,
like seed sown on good soil, hear the word, accept it, and produce a crop—some
thirty, some sixty, some a hundred times what was sown.”
FOUR RESPONSES TO EVERY PROBLEM
From the Parable of the Sower, we can find four responses that we
all make, and these — like each encounter of the seed — describe our every
response and help us understand WHY we have responded these ways.
These below are the continuum of responses before we investigate
them:
ARROGANCE – AVOIDANCE – AMBIVALENCE –
ACCEPTANCE
Note in the Parable of the Sower that there are three negative
or poor responses and only one positive or right response. Knowing this helps
us understand that navigating problems and doing the right thing is harder than
it seems.
Let us tackle these in the order that Jesus does — first comes the
“taking away of the word (or ‘good thing’)” and I would call what this response
looks like as ARROGANCE.
Arrogance has no time to even consider the problem. Its first
reptilian response is the right one, supposedly. The response is one of aberrant
folly, of not considering the problem with any thought whatsoever, a way of
living without conscience, without insight, without recourse; a way of living
as if one is the fount of all knowledge and wisdom. Sounds ridiculous but think
of prideful responses that simply reveal a feeling of being threatened, so the
threat is met with a threat. Not wise.
Arrogance ought to be self-evident of its own error, but the
arrogant are beyond insight. What ought to be seen as a strength — the capacity
of reflection — is seen as a weakness to the misguided. So much more could be
said, but that is not the thrust of this article.
The next response is AVOIDANCE, a place where theorising is
no match for the pragmatic. Concepts and ideals do not translate into action
and change. An irretrievable disconnect enters the mind and the life of the
person trapped in this paradox. They would love to do the right thing
consistently, but consistency (ironically) is the bridge too far, the great
divide, the frustration of a person who would love to have the resolve to be
different. The avoidant person exemplifies what psychologists call cognitive
dissonance. They want to do the right thing but can’t.
The next response is AMBIVALENCE which is where worries,
greed, and desires for other things choke our commitment to doing the right
thing. This is where it might seem that we are being positive and responding
the right way, but the motivation is extrinsic and essentially our heart’s not
in it. We may do the right thing, but we can’t sustain it.
It is important now to differentiate that the key difference
between ambivalence and the next stage response (acceptance) is the heart.
Ambivalence is all outward appearance with a lot of ‘fake it till you make it’
about it. Heart is all about motivation. Intrinsic motivation cannot be faked.
Heart is all about motivation.
Ambivalence lacks sincerity motive.
~
Acceptance is a state of peace
that propagates peace — a godly peace.
Who can change a heart but God?
This gets back to US needing help.
Where we are all called to arrive in life is a place of ACCEPTANCE.
That is, for every reason, for every season, for every life. That is right. Acceptance
is that place of peace for doing the right thing, moment to moment, in series,
for a lifetime — bearing for our imperfections. Indeed, acceptance is crucial
for overcoming our perfectionism, a common problem many people wrestle with.
Examples of acceptance are:
·
Realising that the world is not
against me, even though it can appear that way.
·
Understanding that if we are to
gain anything from something hard, we need to make a hard choice.
·
Recognising that perfection is the
enemy of the good — accepting this and expressing a compassionate acceptance with
ourselves and others.
·
A resilient hope abiding in the
commitment of ‘doing the right thing.’
·
A commitment to others that reconciliation
is the abiding hope for those who partake.
·
A grace we give to ourselves and others
that sustains hope beyond all despair – the summation of faith.
·
Understanding and living in the
power of letting go of that which we cannot control. This is the fullest grasp
of peace.
·
The core of acceptance is a sole focus
on what I think, say, and do, and being accountable for it, and not being drawn
into accounting for others’ behaviours and choices.
SUPREME GOAL OF LIFE – DOING THE RIGHT THING
Anytime we are not motivated to do the right thing in our lives,
we are missing the best life for ourselves and others. Not only that but we are
doing harm. Doing harm is against life’s design.
The Parable of the Sower shows us there is only one way of right
living. Only one way where the privilege and honour of life is taken seriously
enough to strive to do the right thing.
The motive of doing the right thing will drive us out of bed
into the day of going out to do what CAN be done. There is a life to be lived,
for the privilege and honour of life given to a mortal person.
Yes, it is hard at times, but the goal of life is the betterment
of times, living peaceably in acceptance.
Acceptance as a way of life returns a handsome yield, a crop
that is a lasting legacy for generations.
