God, if You are there (of course You’re there, but really I cannot feel You just now) can I please have a touch from Your Spirit, and would You please grace me with Your presence. You have said that You would never leave me nor forsake me, and I have believed You with all my heart. But right now, my mind is a flurry of doubt and my heart feels so frighteningly alone, much as it seems that I cannot comprehend how I could be in such a desolate place. How could it be that it has come to this?
Could it be, Lord, that You have brought me to this place? My mind is in backflips, and my heart is dizzy for comprehending it; the thought that You could’ve allowed this or even orchestrated this prayer from within me to reach out in desperation for Your presence.
You are a wholly good God, and there is no wickedness in You, so You cannot want me to suffer. I get that. And yet, here I am in my lament without You! Could it be that You trust me to find my way back to You? Or, could it be that You will break through any moment now, back into my life? Maybe You trust me enough to do Your will without You constantly needing to show Yourself in being present here with me. Perhaps as I do what is pleasing to You that You will show me that You are pleased. Help me to trust that You are with me as I commit myself to doing only that which would please and honour Your Holy Name.
Lord, A wise friend of mine reminded me about the Footprints in the Sand poem. Could it be that You are carrying me? Might it be that through this period of my life You have never been more present than now — even though I cannot feel You? I have so many questions, Lord, and yet my friend encouraged me when they shared that what I am feeling is normal—that they, themselves, have been there. It is so hard to understand, and yet I feel there is a purpose in all of this, so please forgive my desperate desire to want to know; and, help me to accept that this present hardship is its very own pathway to peace.
It’s in Jesus’ incredible name I pray this, AMEN.
This is a model prayer for the one who doesn’t feel God, where I’m channelling a former version of myself as well as others I’ve known and worked with. The ideal companion to this prayer is, of course, Psalm 77, a psalm that starts off in desperation for God’s presence and ends in remembering the holy and faithful character of God.
No comments:
Post a Comment