We do well to accept that we have an inscrutable nemesis in depression. It can descend in a second and stay months, just as much it can linger in and out and even throughout that season we call a lifetime, and just as much its burden can lift spontaneously or gradually. Depression is an incomprehensible black dog that always walks into our lives without invitation.
Depression normally comes from some defined source, be it grief or trauma or biological, for just three common causes. Once we have been touched by and have tasted this thing that sucks the life out of us, it makes an impression on our philosophy for life. We are changed; more empathic, less judgemental, wiser — but not without the scars. Depression does cost us dearly on the road to growth.
One thing that can change is the emergence of a capacity to think our way through some of it. The operative word is “can”. Far from a perfect solution, we are given some tools to deal with it. This article is about one of those tools; shifting out of mood and thought paralysis.
The way I think of mood and thought paralysis is this: whether it is the mood that starts it or the thoughts underpinning (or vice versa) probably matters little, but what does matter is a precious capacity of the mind to land somewhere concrete in the valley of decision. More on that later. First, we need to tackle the matter of the psychology behind cognitive paralysis, where the functioning mind is rendered redundant whilst consciousness records the memory as a consummate failure, which is demoralising and potentially devastating.
A PSYCHOLOGY OF COGNITIVE PARALYSIS
I think of cognitive paralysis as a condition of the mind where it freezes in an instant. I know sufferers, who, when they descend into the state of this condition, cannot cogitate a single thing; it’s like a deer in headlights. Of course, we have come to associate this with the freeze response of trauma, retriggered in post-traumatic stress disorder.
In depression, it’s hard to know whether the depression causes the cognitive paralysis or whether the depression is the effect, and it’s probably both. It is a source of desperation, discouragement, disappointment and despair, all ‘gift wrapped’ in a bundle of brokenness.
The actual process of cognitive paralysis is scary to the point where there is no defense given on the frontline of the self, especially where we are vulnerable to attack, and this isn’t always about attack from people; it is so often an existential attack from within ourselves, sometimes through spiritual warfare.
THE VALLEY OF DECISION
There are times when this works and there are times when it doesn’t. There are psychologies that suggest we can act ourselves into thinking differently and that we can also think ourselves into acting differently. The operative word is “can” — meaning that it’s possible. It’s worth trying. But it’s not saying it works for everyone or all the time for those it works for, for that matter.
When we’re in a depression there may be times when we can decide to do something to think and therefore feel more positive, and there may be times when we can think ourselves into action. In depression, there are days and longer when we’re rendered incapable of movement, but there are also days when we’re capable of more.
It’s an important strategy in any depression to be ready for times when energy levels are high enough to engage more with life.
At the risk of taking a Bible verse out of context, the biblical principle of the valley of decision in Joel 3:14 is pertinent. It’s that place where pressure comes to bear, particularly amid a crisis like depression. It’s a time when our backs are against the wall, but where we might have enough hope on board in that moment to take the risk to act. When that moment arises, and when we feel we can do it, it is a blessing to us to act.
But if we find we are unable to act, even unable to move, unable to think or even feel, let us instead be gentle with ourselves, and even accept what we would otherwise feel is unacceptable. You know how much empathy you would have if anyone else was suffering what you are, so lavish that empathy of God on yourself, and allow yourself the rest you need.
Photo by Jamie Hagan on Unsplash
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