Where people justify injustice, there’s secondary abuse

“It’s disgusting how far people will go to justify injustice.”

— Germaine Guinto

There’s a lot of anger in the normality of society, we can well imagine this is amped up by the present circumstances.  There’s a real note of anger in this quote from Guinto.  But there is an irrefutable truth in the following circumstances, and this is no exhaustible list by any means:

·                   people will be fobbed off who have a claim or a case to be answered, and the people who do this do it because it’s safer for them not to rock the boat

·                   people just cannot see how others they know and trust can act the way that is claimed

·                   there may be a justification of abusive behaviour, which is clearly a secondary abuse

·                   very often people just go cold on both parties, the alleged abuser and the victim — again, wisely or not, they just won’t get involved.  This doesn’t help the violated

·                   where the vulnerable are exploited, especially where it goes under the radar, and there’s a whiff of it, and people who could do something, don’t

·                   too often people (yes, good people) turn a blind eye, and sometimes this can simply be because they didn’t believe their own eyes or rationalised what they saw

·                   Christians especially may resist the concept that their Christian brothers and sisters are capable of abuse

·                   or, they may simply think claims made of abuse are too incredible to believe

·                   where a parent, or worse both parents, won’t believe their adult child who claims their partner is violent

·                   or, worse, when a family member or mentor (someone with influence) insists a person stay in an abusive marriage or other relationship

If there’s one thing we all struggle to face it is injustice.  We don’t want to deal with it, because it’s an ugly truth that makes us upset, causes anger and confusion, and promotes division.

It is better to be divided or angry or confused or upset if that’s what the truth causes us to feel.  Jesus never shirked away from these emotions.  Nor should we.  But what scares us is we risk losing our reputations, our livelihoods, our futures, even our lives, by siding with the truth.

It is a big risk to side unswervingly with the truth.  When we do, it may cause us to face up to the silent tyranny that we’ve been denying or quietly fighting in our marriages or other relationships.

Why do abused partners fear leaving the marriage?  Because it makes things worse, and they secretly wonder if they have the strength needed to endure such a threat.  Needless to say, there are myriad other truly loving concerns.

Possibly worse than the primary abuse itself is the reality of a person actively engaging in a secondary abuse of demanding a person go back to a brutal marriage or other relationship.

Where people justify injustice, there in the midst of their justification is a secondary abuse.

Photo by Philippe Bourhis on Unsplash