“Stop writing, just stop it,” I felt
a spirit say. I thought it was God’s Spirit, but later I have come to discern
it to be another spirit, and every spirit other than God’s Spirit ought not get
a second’s hearing.
But they do.
We ‘hear’ many a thing
and many a thing we act on,
without wondering if
the ‘voice’ is a benevolent one or not.
We ‘hear’ many a thing
and many a thing we act on,
without wondering if
the ‘voice’ is a benevolent one or not.
I wonder if God is about to say
something. I wonder if in being so discouraged, so oppressed by this spirit,
that I’d be prepared to lay down and go completely ‘off the grid.’ God has
been saying to me, “Go gently.” He
has been saying to me, “Keep repenting.”
And I have heard God say, “Get prepared.”
But at no time has God been saying to
stop writing. Why am I writing this?
Like usual, there is a flurry of
salient thoughts circling through my mind. Any and all of which I could write
on. But the biggest matter of discernment is what and how to write —
to simply write is easy. Please forgive me for the many times I miss the mark when
my discernment is a degree or three off.
What I write won’t be for everyone.
There seems to be a narrow band of humanity that resonates with what I write. I’m
on my own journey about this. It is much more important to me that I write what’s
right than what tickles certain ears, but in saying that I’m often tempted to
tickle ears. That said, I’m simply blessed to be allowed to write — that I haven’t been barred by now.
I am still getting to my point.
We all have the huge spiritual task
of discerning what we say (or write), think, and do. Soul deception is
part-and-parcel of being human. We’re all tempted to go those places within
ourselves where angels flee. And we wouldn’t go there if we knew it were wrong
or stupid. But we do find ourselves in situations where we instantly regret
finding ourselves there.
I was reminded by a friend
recently, in her study of Deuteronomy 28, that the blessings are written succinctly,
but the curses are written in a long-winded fashion. We do find that our lives
are enormously complicated for the times we ran, like Jonah, far from God. Yet,
life is inordinately simpler (though not always ‘simple’) when we endeavour
along God’s narrow path.
The world is amess with spiritual
conflict. We too are like lambs before our slaughterer, but for the grace of
God that has already gloriously accounted for us. In the meantime, before
glory, there will be trial and temptation and tumult. We will discern wrongly.
We will miss our way. We will do things that reveal to us our idolatry. We will
stumble and we will occasionally fall. And yet we’re already saved. We’re
already secure. We have nothing to fear other than a lack of awareness of our
fear itself.
And yet we’re free as birds,
to cavort with God’s Spirit and Presence
as much as we trust.
to cavort with God’s Spirit and Presence
as much as we trust.
As we listen within the context of
our lives, discerning the best we can, our opportunity is to inquire, “Is that
you, God, who is speaking to me… or is it some other spirit?”
I struggle to find a way of
describing God’s benevolent voice, but I know an example of what the opposite
spirit is like: it’s when we’re right-in-our-own-minds, convicted and convinced
to the point we’re no longer able to dialogue, and when we’re set in our view,
unable even for God to jar us open.
God loves a contrite spirit within
us that is vulnerably courageous and open. Into such a spirit, God speaks, without
a semblance of our soul’s resistance.
When our hearts battle pride,
however, faith is seen to give way to fear, and another spirit may speak.
Stay soft even when life is hard,
and God’s Spirit will be your guard.
and God’s Spirit will be your guard.
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