Tuesday, March 3, 2009

12 Hilarious Quotes on Marriage, Love and Romance

Imagine a scene in a hotel bar. A woman is talking to a man, gauging his personality as a prospective partner. She says to him, “I want openness, honest, and a monogamous relationship. I’m not into men who want to play games.” The image is completed when it’s revealed she’s talking to a clown!

These insightful quotes that follow, from Allan and Barbara Pease’s book, Why Men Don’t Listen and Women Can’t Read Maps, are full of humour, good taste, and hold more than an element of truth.


“Sex is the price women pay for marriage. Marriage is the price men pay for sex.”

“Marriage has its good side. It teaches you loyalty, forbearance, tolerance, self-restraint, and other valuable qualities you wouldn’t need if you stayed single.”

“Men want to wait for the perfect partner, but all they usually get is older.”

“Infatuation is nature’s biological trick to guarantee that a man and a woman are thrown together long enough to procreate.”

“Women recognise when love doesn’t exist. That’s why they’re much more proactive in finishing relationships.”

“For women, love and sex are intertwined. One equals the other.” (Okay, this one’s not that funny.)

“For a woman, a man who rates a five at 7pm still rates the same score at midnight, regardless of how much she’s had to drink.”

“Women everywhere prefer a small, tight rear on a man, although few women know why.”

“Never forget that a woman is a romantic. She enjoys wine, flowers, and chocolate. Let her know that you, too, remember these things... by speaking of them occasionally.” –Woody Allen. (Italics added.)

“How do you know if a man is ready for sex? He’s breathing.”

“After marriage a man knows all he needs to know about his partner and sees no point in excessive talk.”

“The flower of love is the rose. After three days all the petals fall off and you’re left with an ugly, prickly thing.”

Although these quotes are daringly funny and certainly said tongue-in-cheek, they are backed by the finest psychological theory of our bare human nature. The Pease’s have made a fine contribution to the understanding of why we behave the way we do and they communicate it in the most relevant ways.

Reference: Allan & Barbara Pease, Why Men Don’t Listen and Women Can’t Read Maps (Great Britain: Orion Publishing Group, 2001-2006), p. 247-71.

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