YOU’RE IN A COFFEE SHOP, all alone, and it’s the middle of summer. It’s a mild day and you have time to reflect; what’s more, you’re in dreamy mood, just musing away. Suddenly you become aware of a sort of cathartic sensation emanating from your upper arm—it feels really nice. It’s a fly—it’s gently landed on you and appears intent on giving the hairs on your skin a massage that’s pure delight. What’s your reaction?
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Like most people, given time to think, you might swoosh the fly away without a second thought—perhaps it’s habit. But the situation I have just described is actually quite therapeutic, it is welcome. Such is your disposition it’s laid back enough to warrant anything a chance—your defences are down. To take advantage of this sensation, your demeanour needs to be correct, just right, an accepting demeanour.
Like most people, given time to think, you might swoosh the fly away without a second thought—perhaps it’s habit. But the situation I have just described is actually quite therapeutic, it is welcome. Such is your disposition it’s laid back enough to warrant anything a chance—your defences are down. To take advantage of this sensation, your demeanour needs to be correct, just right, an accepting demeanour.
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This illustrates how important the correct demeanour is in any life situation; are you ready to accept the situation and run with it, or will you kick against it and miss the opportunity because you judged it early.
This illustrates how important the correct demeanour is in any life situation; are you ready to accept the situation and run with it, or will you kick against it and miss the opportunity because you judged it early.
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There are times when things good for us are veiled in things we don’t recognise as good. It’s a bit like getting into a conversation and surmising where you’re at with it before the person whose talking has really had the chance to tell you; you’ve made up your mind, and there’s a lack of trust evident. There’s no benefit to you or to the other person in this sort of guesswork.
There are times when things good for us are veiled in things we don’t recognise as good. It’s a bit like getting into a conversation and surmising where you’re at with it before the person whose talking has really had the chance to tell you; you’ve made up your mind, and there’s a lack of trust evident. There’s no benefit to you or to the other person in this sort of guesswork.
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Even worse, the lack of trust is caused by fear—you fear something enough at some level to cause you to intervene in the conversation before it’s your turn—before you’ve heard and listened properly. There are so many times when people wish to do nice things for us, and we miss them simply because our fears got in the way—something they had no awareness of—we just simply “got in the way”. You see to exhibit good listening skills takes trust and patience, and it is always about knowing the other person has worthy things to say and contribute. It is a recognition of our “otherness” which is also termed humility, and this stems from respect.
Even worse, the lack of trust is caused by fear—you fear something enough at some level to cause you to intervene in the conversation before it’s your turn—before you’ve heard and listened properly. There are so many times when people wish to do nice things for us, and we miss them simply because our fears got in the way—something they had no awareness of—we just simply “got in the way”. You see to exhibit good listening skills takes trust and patience, and it is always about knowing the other person has worthy things to say and contribute. It is a recognition of our “otherness” which is also termed humility, and this stems from respect.
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Trust and respect are interdependent. With one comes the other, but without one, the other vanishes also. The irony is, at times, the things that are best for us and that which were designed for us to have, do not look good or pretty or pleasant, but they are in fact good, yet we cannot see.
Trust and respect are interdependent. With one comes the other, but without one, the other vanishes also. The irony is, at times, the things that are best for us and that which were designed for us to have, do not look good or pretty or pleasant, but they are in fact good, yet we cannot see.
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It takes trust to get to first base, and then wisdom to inquire further with curiosity. And within wisdom you have diligence and prudence to help you decide what’s right and just and fair. How curious are you? Are you prepared to keep an open mind and heart and are you prepared to be proved wrong? To be prepared to be proven wrong is wisdom.
It takes trust to get to first base, and then wisdom to inquire further with curiosity. And within wisdom you have diligence and prudence to help you decide what’s right and just and fair. How curious are you? Are you prepared to keep an open mind and heart and are you prepared to be proved wrong? To be prepared to be proven wrong is wisdom.
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You never know, you may actually be pleasantly surprised!
You never know, you may actually be pleasantly surprised!
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© Steve J. Wickham, 2008.
© Steve J. Wickham, 2008.
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