Our lives can be summarised by the roles we play—metaphors for ‘who we are.’ They’re such an indicator of our life situations, status, position, and stage. Tell someone what you do and chances are they’ll have categorised you instantly based on their perception of the role you told them of—regardless of some of the other harder, visual evidence to the contrary. A little information and the rest is ‘filled in,’ such is the power of roles—a strong reflection of the society we live in and the nature of the average human being and the way we think. And people sort of know when you tell them your role(s) whether you’re happy or unhappy about it. It’s a part of our heart that we cannot hide, especially if we’re passionate to either extreme of happiness or unhappiness.
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We’ve all been “made” and brought up in certain ways—it’s good old-fashioned nature and nurture. Have you ever thought why you are perhaps good at sport but not academically, or that you can draw well but can’t read maps? You were perhaps good at maths and science in school but not in the arts or technical drawing; so you became a chemist. Little wonder.
We’ve all been “made” and brought up in certain ways—it’s good old-fashioned nature and nurture. Have you ever thought why you are perhaps good at sport but not academically, or that you can draw well but can’t read maps? You were perhaps good at maths and science in school but not in the arts or technical drawing; so you became a chemist. Little wonder.
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This can be perplexing. We’d like to be good at everything we do. It’s crushing to know that no matter how hard we try, we’ll probably never be brilliant in a certain pursuit; particularly if we desperately want to be.
This can be perplexing. We’d like to be good at everything we do. It’s crushing to know that no matter how hard we try, we’ll probably never be brilliant in a certain pursuit; particularly if we desperately want to be.
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Ideas are not generally my thing. I get despondent to think that my ideas aren’t that often valued, yet it is my leadership and general coordination skills that come to the fore most times. Recently, whilst at work I found a problem came up with how a system that I had some control over wasn’t working for the end user—confronting in itself—and the feedback was such that my ideas for improving the system weren’t really of any value; only the end users’ were. This was a little deflating I must admit, but my role was to coordinate the ideas and solutions and distil these into a plan—that’s where I came to be of value and got the kudos my ego required. I find it funny looking back that I couldn’t recognise this but I had the feeling of just flowing with it, which was probably motivated more by fear of not giving the end user the result they needed.
Ideas are not generally my thing. I get despondent to think that my ideas aren’t that often valued, yet it is my leadership and general coordination skills that come to the fore most times. Recently, whilst at work I found a problem came up with how a system that I had some control over wasn’t working for the end user—confronting in itself—and the feedback was such that my ideas for improving the system weren’t really of any value; only the end users’ were. This was a little deflating I must admit, but my role was to coordinate the ideas and solutions and distil these into a plan—that’s where I came to be of value and got the kudos my ego required. I find it funny looking back that I couldn’t recognise this but I had the feeling of just flowing with it, which was probably motivated more by fear of not giving the end user the result they needed.
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This discussion purports being in tune with our roles—and more that that, it’s being in tune with the “style” that fits us. We have a style that “fits us.” We need to learn to work with this style and maximise it; and not resist or work against it. We need to be in tune with our roles in life—ensuring we can be of maximum benefit to ourselves and to those around us.
This discussion purports being in tune with our roles—and more that that, it’s being in tune with the “style” that fits us. We have a style that “fits us.” We need to learn to work with this style and maximise it; and not resist or work against it. We need to be in tune with our roles in life—ensuring we can be of maximum benefit to ourselves and to those around us.
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Be in tune with your style. Work it out. Keep up to date with the trends in your own performance—where does it seem that you are always struggling as opposed to the times when you get easy ‘wins’ and things come very naturally? Chances are you get a ‘buzz’ each time you do this thing or that thing well, but you still may not be aware of the style that fits you.
Be in tune with your style. Work it out. Keep up to date with the trends in your own performance—where does it seem that you are always struggling as opposed to the times when you get easy ‘wins’ and things come very naturally? Chances are you get a ‘buzz’ each time you do this thing or that thing well, but you still may not be aware of the style that fits you.
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There’s real wisdom in being “in tune” with your own unique style within the framework of your life roles. It can bring you an enormous sense of peace and overall wellbeing when you’re at ease with your life roles and life styles. It’s also easier to see life as it really is, without being adversely influenced by performance anxiety.
There’s real wisdom in being “in tune” with your own unique style within the framework of your life roles. It can bring you an enormous sense of peace and overall wellbeing when you’re at ease with your life roles and life styles. It’s also easier to see life as it really is, without being adversely influenced by performance anxiety.
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If you don’t have an appreciation of your style you could ask people who know you, particularly the people who know you really well, but be careful of family as they might not give you so much what you need to hear, as opposed to what you want to hear—this would be counterproductive.
If you don’t have an appreciation of your style you could ask people who know you, particularly the people who know you really well, but be careful of family as they might not give you so much what you need to hear, as opposed to what you want to hear—this would be counterproductive.
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Also, if you have the opportunity, take part in a Myers Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI) or Hermann Brain Dominance Indicator (HBDI) questionnaire and find out what personality profile and thinking preferences you have.
Also, if you have the opportunity, take part in a Myers Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI) or Hermann Brain Dominance Indicator (HBDI) questionnaire and find out what personality profile and thinking preferences you have.
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Roles and life “styles”—do you know yours? What’s more, do you work with it or fight it?
Roles and life “styles”—do you know yours? What’s more, do you work with it or fight it?
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© Steve J. Wickham, 2008. All rights reserved Worldwide.
© Steve J. Wickham, 2008. All rights reserved Worldwide.
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