When we married in 2007, we agreed to give to each other 60 years. I was nearly 40 at the time, so I’m counting on being around until I’m almost 100. We’ll see how that goes.
15 years down the track. In that time, I’ve had ten jobs (three as a pastor, four were part time, counselling counted as one job), Sarah’s had eight jobs (including her photography as one ‘job’) and we’ve lived in six houses, mostly for 2-4 years each. When we started out, my girls were 14, 11, and 8. Now we’re grandparents.
15 years isn’t 30 or 45 for that matter, and it’s not like my parents who have been together 60 years this July or Sarah’s parents who have been together 50 years. But it is 15 years, and we’ve packed a bit of life into that time.
What symbolises our first 15 years most I think is what Sarah wrote in a card she gave me four years ago (pictured). Life hasn’t been the same for her since I came into it. That’s not to say it’s been great. But it’s been interesting, certainly not boring.
Half our marriage ago, we were losing Nathanael, and our stillborn son is still the most significant thing that’s happened in our time together. It was significant for what took place at the time—as part of our formation and how we saw the best and worst of humanity in it—just as it is significant even today. God has used our loss and grief to help us. As a life experience and in our being healed, we continue to be positioned to help others suffering pregnancy and infant loss.
We’ve thoroughly enjoyed our time together, even if the first three years or so were very difficult. We share a lot of humour and intimacy. Sarah is an absolutely ideal ministry partner. Her discernment is different to mine, and her wisdom is crucially complementary.
Whether we actually survive the 45 years left in our marriage, or one of us departs the earth beforehand is irrelevant. Our intent is to give God everything through doing life together.
Serving in our present capacities, with family as it is, we’ve truly never been more content. But... as with us all, the best is still yet to come.
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