When expectations on pastors and their families get beyond a joke

We all know that jokes are funny because there is both a raw element of truth about them AND they take that truth to the absolute extremities of absurdity.  It’s like this photo of an advertisement in the paper.  It’s very funny.  Of course it is.  I love a good laugh as much as anyone.  But there’s a real hint of truth in it.

What if a percentage of the 50 percent of pastors who are no longer pastoring were burned out because they kept up to the lofty and unreachable standards of some congregants?

What about the wives of pastors out there looking at this and thinking, “Wow, that was me; we did all those things, and little wonder we were exhausted out of the ministry.”

What about the children of those pastors who have now grown up have seen enough of the church, thank you very much?  Perhaps they saw their parents give their all to their local church, and maybe they saw their parents “count it all joy,” until that infamous member’s meeting came up and Dad found himself out of a job.  Isn’t it always saddest that Dad was the last to know.

I really wonder about the children of pastors.  I know from my own life the countless times ministry has interrupted family life, and yet I know this happens in all families regarding work.  Yet, with some there comes the expectation that you exist for them at any opportunity that they choose.

I know that there is the opposite kind of pastor who gets all of life easy, or at least that’s the way it can seem.  There are those who lord it over others, but that’s not the majority.  

Most work their guts out.  They’re either thought too much of (which is not good) or too little of.

And their families can tend to pay the price.

I know there are pastors’ families who have had a great experience of being there for each other; the pressure bonded them.

But there are many pastors’ families silently doing it tough, feeling alone and unsupported, now and historically.  And it can often be for one or two loud and unreasonable voices.  Haven’t you noticed in your own life how it doesn’t matter how much encouragement there is if there’s some persistent though seemingly small discouragement?

If we see our pastor and their partner and children always working hard, especially through occasional painted on smiles, give them more than a prayer.