Wednesday, February 21, 2018

We, my friends, are walking mirrors

Photo by Dawid Zawiła on Unsplash

HAVE you ever noticed that, no matter how confident you are, eye contact is harder with a person who avoids eye contact? Or, when someone gives you intentional eye contact their attention provokes your own attention?
Whilst we tend not to notice it, we do tend to mirror each other.
It is a problem that is easily fixed, for instance, if we are fearful of being rejected and we rarely open ourselves up to be accepted. In such a case, we need to be courageous to facilitate people accepting us. If we wish to be accepted by others we need to model such acceptance. Do it and things slowly change.
We are walking mirrors in this relational world — what we receive we tend to mirror and give, and what we give others tends to be mirrored. The opportunity is to both break the pattern and become more a social pioneer, and to use the pattern and give only what is worthy of mirroring.
The world is not against us without us make our own contribution to rejection.
In feeling rejected we reject others due to low desire and confidence, then they reject us, so we feel rejected. Never does the twain meet. The process is so circular.
As we feel rejected more and more, more and more are we forced to think why we are being rejected. We, being creative and negative about ourselves, make up all sorts of stories that aren’t in keeping with reality. We come up with a story and assume it’s correct, never thinking the fault is with our own thinking.
But the truth is we don’t make the effort to reach out, because of our fear.
So, what can be done?
Face your concern, ignore your fear.
Face your target, ignore your shadow.
Face your truth, ignore your voices.
Face your desire, ignore your history.
See that it is the story in your head that matches your behaviour. Strip that story bare, live present in reality, refuse to be a mirror, and see people begin to mirror your positive intent. Rewrite your story. Help them rewrite theirs.
It is time to resist being sucked into the social story of our time.

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