YOU may be
aware that I’m currently pursuing 10,000 Reasons for my heart to find
why God is good. Well, on top of the initial
gratitude I was chasing, I’ve discovered something else.
It’s possibly
the reason long campaigns don’t tend to work.
Recall that
I was finding 100 Reasons every day for 100 days = 10,000.
Recall the
reason? God challenged me to find 10,000 Reasons because I lacked gratitude.
I’m
currently on Day 36 and I’m stalled on my 3,683rd reason. It isn’t unusual that
I’ve stalled. I’m finding it hard work. But something else I’ve found is, in
the legalistic drive to get my 100 quota each day, I’m looking so hard that I’m
no longer experiencing gratitude. I am mentally grateful for each reason, but I’m
not feeling it in my heart like I was.
This is
clearly a challenge. But not something that cannot be overcome.
One thing
that has coincided with the fact I’ve lost my gratitude edge is the busyness of
moving to a new house. Anyone who has experienced the stress of packing
everything, moving everything, then unpacking everything knows what’s involved.
There were countless cardboard boxes on top of all our furniture and other items.
For the month before the shift there were regular tasks, including work and
ministry loads. The daily quota of 100 helped enormously when there was so much
to do — under intense pressure is the best time to be grateful. Then the days
around the shift I made sure I was slightly ahead of my quota each day to
alleviate the pressure.
It is sad
that I’ve had to come to recognise that I’m finding reasons without a heart to
find reasons.
So now it
is time to repent. To turn back to God and make sure every reason I find I can
be genuinely thankful for.
I have
6,318 reasons to go. Still on track to finish by May 1 though.
Like the Tower
of Babel, God will not allow me to master gratitude so it can become my idol. I
can only achieve gratitude when I’m simply grateful.