I’d like a dollar for every time I’ve suddenly caught on to my folly or mistakes just about the time others have. I’d have enough to buy a nice small car I think! And I think having the awareness to ask the above question at the right time can save us all a lot of embarrassment.
There are people, however, who seem intent on not caring what others think regarding their reactions to things. When people they’re interacting with give them certain obvious body language cues regarding the inappropriateness of their behaviour, and they deliberately don’t respond, it pays little respect to either person. Crassness is not that ingratiating.
But the person I want to address most is the person who does want to respond in tune with their contexts, and in congruence with their desire to not only fit in, but succeed too.
One of the critical cues we can derive a lot of information from is the actions and omissions of those over us, our supervisors at work, for instance. If we’ve been overlooked for a promotion or shifted sideways, there could possibly be something there that we’re not aware of… a missing puzzle piece that could prove enlightening, even helpful.
Other situations, say with the family, could be more revelatory as people usually have a vested interest in being more honest at home… I did say usually. The only way we can improve situations in the home--as far as we’re personally concerned--is to constantly ask ourselves if we’re missing anything. Our familial situations offer the most hope if we’re genuine about good relationship outcomes.
Conflict is a sure sign we could get a lot from asking the question. Conflict is a way of being warned that all is not right, relationally. We’re fooled if we think it’s always the other person’s fault. God has reasons for conflict. He’s trying to tell us something in the midst of it.
We’re conformed to the systems that God has instituted. His purposes and plans are always being worked out and are always delivered. Getting into the habit of asking ourselves, “What am I missing here?” can only help us in our quest for wisdom and the good life where our relationships are blessed--and also where our relationship with God is almost constantly at a zenith.
It’s old fashioned intuition in practice, but facilitated by an interest in ‘walking humbly with God’ (Micah 6:8).