Life: It’s Going to Hurt… A Lot!

Life hurts because we can’t help loving. And this comes from opening ourselves up to all manner of people and situations. It’s plainly unavoidable. We simply cannot live any sort of effective life without committing ourselves to loving.

When we are born we love our parents and are dependent on them for our security; and even though it’s irresponsible parents that hurt their kids, good parents will need to discipline their kids and that’s going to hurt both of them. When we venture off to school we’re at the mercy of the kids and teachers we associate with; not all will respect and love as they could--schools, a microcosm of life, are full of hurt. And if this isn’t enough, later in life we pick sporting teams or political parties to support; when they lose, it hurts. Hurt is a fact of life.

Then we fall in love! Ouch!! Who’s not fallen in love and not been hurt before? Whether the relationships we’ve been in have busted up or not, we’ve been hurt, and we’ve opened ourselves up to the most intrinsic form of hurt--a very personal, gut-wrenching, convulsing type of hurt. How many people have suicided from recoiling at this sort of hurt (or thought of it)?

There’s no way to prepare anyone for the losses and disappointments that life will inevitably dish out, or help them to deal with life hurts effectively. We have to experience them in real time in real ways, and then, we have to learn to cope the right way. Yes, parents are the coaches here, teaching grief management, for we all need to learn how to grieve.

We can only experience life and love and loss in a full-on sort of way and without recourse to denial so we can rebound with resilience; but there’s going to be a lot of heartache in-between. There’s no easy way to this place--but, as surely as it’s promised, it comes if we are faithful and trust courageously.

It’s in this context that life comes. And there’s a God who travels with us along the journey, ever hoping we’ll respond appropriately each time the way he knows we can--positively, humbly, and strongly in our weakness, depending on him.

In the Eighties there was a fitness campaign in Australia. It was called, “Life… be in it!” That’s what we need to do. We must be strong and courageous in dealing well with our hurts, losses and disappointments. We need to be in life, boldly, without fear, knowing the perils and pitfalls, but carrying on stoically regardless.

Copyright © 2009, S. J. Wickham. All Rights Reserved.