“A man who trims himself to suit everybody will soon whittle himself away.”
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-Charles Schwab.
-Charles Schwab.
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Do you ever notice that the easiest way to lose your joy and zest for life is to try and keep everyone happy? It can be exasperating. This is most notable in professional, vocational and family situations. Often times, immature people in those areas will demand unreasonably of us, especially if our main goal is to set out to please them in the first place. It’s great if we can please these people, but realistically our main goal regarding any pursuit should be to do whatever we do for right, just and fair reasons. All things are not necessarily equal, but they should be as equal as possible, particularly regarding our relationships.
Do you ever notice that the easiest way to lose your joy and zest for life is to try and keep everyone happy? It can be exasperating. This is most notable in professional, vocational and family situations. Often times, immature people in those areas will demand unreasonably of us, especially if our main goal is to set out to please them in the first place. It’s great if we can please these people, but realistically our main goal regarding any pursuit should be to do whatever we do for right, just and fair reasons. All things are not necessarily equal, but they should be as equal as possible, particularly regarding our relationships.
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~ Work out who you ought to please -- those we’re responsible to or for. Other than these, a common courtesy (respect) is all that’s required.
~ Work out who you ought to please -- those we’re responsible to or for. Other than these, a common courtesy (respect) is all that’s required.
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~ Even those who we ought to please may at times take advantage -- this is where our assertiveness and communication skills will need to come to the fore.
~ Even those who we ought to please may at times take advantage -- this is where our assertiveness and communication skills will need to come to the fore.
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~ Be assertive with those who demand we please them -- that’s being neither aggressive nor submissive. Assertiveness is about being ‘fair’ to both ourselves and the other person, and not giving in to their whimsical demands. We can be respectful as we firmly say “no.”
~ Be assertive with those who demand we please them -- that’s being neither aggressive nor submissive. Assertiveness is about being ‘fair’ to both ourselves and the other person, and not giving in to their whimsical demands. We can be respectful as we firmly say “no.”
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~ Be pleased within ourselves when we achieve a good result (one that’s right, just and fair) regardless of how others receive it.
~ Be pleased within ourselves when we achieve a good result (one that’s right, just and fair) regardless of how others receive it.
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~ If we’ve pleased everyone something’s almost definitely wrong. Check it. Perhaps it’s that we’ve given in? When we feel like this, we should try and learn from it. It’s probably too late to change things now though.
~ If we’ve pleased everyone something’s almost definitely wrong. Check it. Perhaps it’s that we’ve given in? When we feel like this, we should try and learn from it. It’s probably too late to change things now though.
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~ Seek collegial support and guidance. This can give us a lot more confidence, particularly if we talk with people who’re naturally encouraging. Seek out those who will be truthful.
~ Seek collegial support and guidance. This can give us a lot more confidence, particularly if we talk with people who’re naturally encouraging. Seek out those who will be truthful.
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Becoming less submissive takes a combination of courage, time, practise, and confidence. Assertiveness is neither aggressive nor submissive; it’s respecting all parties, including (and most importantly) ourselves. We find that when we’ve discovered true self-respect, we’ve actually discovered respect as it pertains to others also. In this way respect is expressed in terms akin to humility. Others and ourselves; we’re all are the same.
Becoming less submissive takes a combination of courage, time, practise, and confidence. Assertiveness is neither aggressive nor submissive; it’s respecting all parties, including (and most importantly) ourselves. We find that when we’ve discovered true self-respect, we’ve actually discovered respect as it pertains to others also. In this way respect is expressed in terms akin to humility. Others and ourselves; we’re all are the same.
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Pleasing others at the expense of other important objectives is not sustainable in the long run. It is better to drive unswervingly toward a result that is as right, just and fair as possible.
Pleasing others at the expense of other important objectives is not sustainable in the long run. It is better to drive unswervingly toward a result that is as right, just and fair as possible.
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Copyright © 2008, Steven John Wickham. All Rights Reserved Worldwide.
Copyright © 2008, Steven John Wickham. All Rights Reserved Worldwide.
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