I love this secret. A lot of the advice on leading a successful life in this article comes from Dr. Henry Cloud’s book, 9 Things You Simply Must Do.
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This is not a book review. It sets out to showcase the 8th principle -- be humble. Humility is a wonderful character trait to exhibit as it’s all about being the true ‘you,’ i.e. not seeing yourself as better or worse than you truly are. Think for a moment; we all fail in an instant to ‘be real.’ It is easier said than done to behave with genuine humility.
This is not a book review. It sets out to showcase the 8th principle -- be humble. Humility is a wonderful character trait to exhibit as it’s all about being the true ‘you,’ i.e. not seeing yourself as better or worse than you truly are. Think for a moment; we all fail in an instant to ‘be real.’ It is easier said than done to behave with genuine humility.
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Within the quotation marks are some of Dr. Cloud’s tips in demonstrating humility, and following is some of my own commentary:
Within the quotation marks are some of Dr. Cloud’s tips in demonstrating humility, and following is some of my own commentary:
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1. “Say you are sorry to your children, spouse, co-workers, customers, and other people in your life when you fail them” -- because you will and do. We do and say the wrong things all the time. If we’re humble, we’ll seek to offer restitution to those we hurt. Many parents and bosses cannot apologise to their kids or workers. Get over it. You won’t gain or retain any credibility from them without apologising when you’re wrong.
1. “Say you are sorry to your children, spouse, co-workers, customers, and other people in your life when you fail them” -- because you will and do. We do and say the wrong things all the time. If we’re humble, we’ll seek to offer restitution to those we hurt. Many parents and bosses cannot apologise to their kids or workers. Get over it. You won’t gain or retain any credibility from them without apologising when you’re wrong.
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2. “Seek to understand situations and people before thinking you know the answer or the truth or what the reality actually is.” Listening is the forgotten art of communication. Go against the grain of Western society and achieve respect and trust by giving it. If you don’t listen you can’t possibly know the truth.
2. “Seek to understand situations and people before thinking you know the answer or the truth or what the reality actually is.” Listening is the forgotten art of communication. Go against the grain of Western society and achieve respect and trust by giving it. If you don’t listen you can’t possibly know the truth.
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3. “Get rid of any and all defensiveness when it occurs in you. What you are defending -- the need to be more than you are -- is not worth keeping.” We defend ourselves in a blink. If others have a false perception of reality correct it by gently letting them know. If they then choose not think your way, let it go, and let go any grudge that may emerge.
3. “Get rid of any and all defensiveness when it occurs in you. What you are defending -- the need to be more than you are -- is not worth keeping.” We defend ourselves in a blink. If others have a false perception of reality correct it by gently letting them know. If they then choose not think your way, let it go, and let go any grudge that may emerge.
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4. “Serve the people ‘under’ you.” [Italics added] The best leaders serve, whether they be parents, teachers, or bosses. They are servant leaders, and their territories grow as a result. Everyone wants a superior who is their friend; who trusts and respects them. It’s then reciprocal. Good leaders do the extra bit to support their team and each team member.
4. “Serve the people ‘under’ you.” [Italics added] The best leaders serve, whether they be parents, teachers, or bosses. They are servant leaders, and their territories grow as a result. Everyone wants a superior who is their friend; who trusts and respects them. It’s then reciprocal. Good leaders do the extra bit to support their team and each team member.
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5. “The moment you think some task or position in life is beneath you, take a time out. Go spend some time with someone performing that task or in that position and you might meet a human being superior to yourself.” Simply, we think superiorly to our peril. There is real power in stooping down cheerfully to do the simple things that are technically ‘beneath’ us; it shows true character, patience and humility.
5. “The moment you think some task or position in life is beneath you, take a time out. Go spend some time with someone performing that task or in that position and you might meet a human being superior to yourself.” Simply, we think superiorly to our peril. There is real power in stooping down cheerfully to do the simple things that are technically ‘beneath’ us; it shows true character, patience and humility.
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6. “Root out any attitude of entitlement that you may have. Embrace a spirit of gratitude for everything you have or any good treatment you get.” When we don’t get that promotion we’re often gutted. Instead, let things come to you. You might miss out every now and then, sure, but insisting on your entitlements destroys your joy. It is ridiculous thinking.
6. “Root out any attitude of entitlement that you may have. Embrace a spirit of gratitude for everything you have or any good treatment you get.” When we don’t get that promotion we’re often gutted. Instead, let things come to you. You might miss out every now and then, sure, but insisting on your entitlements destroys your joy. It is ridiculous thinking.
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7. “When someone is hurt by you, listen. Try to understand what he or she is feeling and learn how you can make things better.” The Golden Rule states: “Do to others as you would have them do to you.” Imagine the hurt the other way; the person who hurt you actually listening to you and seeking to make amends... how does this make you feel? A lot better I’m sure.
7. “When someone is hurt by you, listen. Try to understand what he or she is feeling and learn how you can make things better.” The Golden Rule states: “Do to others as you would have them do to you.” Imagine the hurt the other way; the person who hurt you actually listening to you and seeking to make amends... how does this make you feel? A lot better I’m sure.
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8. “Give up any investment in looking good, right, or any other posture that makes you different from the rest of humanity.” Why put yourself up when you risk being put down as a result. To gain more honour we risk losing what honour we have. Be real, be true, and you will gain honour without even trying.
8. “Give up any investment in looking good, right, or any other posture that makes you different from the rest of humanity.” Why put yourself up when you risk being put down as a result. To gain more honour we risk losing what honour we have. Be real, be true, and you will gain honour without even trying.
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9. “Embrace your imperfections and the imperfections of others. Do not ever be surprised by them... Use failure as a teacher and a friend.” Freedom in one word. Being imperfect is such a relief. When we fail it’s okay; it’s not the end of the world. When we succeed we have so much to be thankful for; we can praise.
9. “Embrace your imperfections and the imperfections of others. Do not ever be surprised by them... Use failure as a teacher and a friend.” Freedom in one word. Being imperfect is such a relief. When we fail it’s okay; it’s not the end of the world. When we succeed we have so much to be thankful for; we can praise.
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Copyright © 2008, Steven John Wickham. All Rights Reserved Worldwide.
Copyright © 2008, Steven John Wickham. All Rights Reserved Worldwide.
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Reference:
Henry Cloud, 9 Things You Simply Must Do, (Brentwood, Tennessee: Integrity Publishers, 2004), p. 210-11.
Reference:
Henry Cloud, 9 Things You Simply Must Do, (Brentwood, Tennessee: Integrity Publishers, 2004), p. 210-11.
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