Ever had a situation where your teenager has gone off with their friends and promised to be back at the train station by a certain time only to be 15, 20... 30 minutes late? This happened to me recently and I was amazed by what was placed into my mind as a method to deal with this issue.
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As my daughter approached me, I thought for one, she will be apologetic and therefore I can use that to win “credits” for something else I had to broach with her -- a late fee for her not submitting an important form to her school. She accepted the late $10 fee -- great! I also mentioned half-jokingly, ‘20 minutes late; does that mean I can get a credit for you to be 20 minutes early next time?’ It was about sowing the seed around expectations. I left it at that. (No one likes a harper.)
As my daughter approached me, I thought for one, she will be apologetic and therefore I can use that to win “credits” for something else I had to broach with her -- a late fee for her not submitting an important form to her school. She accepted the late $10 fee -- great! I also mentioned half-jokingly, ‘20 minutes late; does that mean I can get a credit for you to be 20 minutes early next time?’ It was about sowing the seed around expectations. I left it at that. (No one likes a harper.)
s
I watch her mood and try and gauge what I can get away with when I need to be ‘parent.’ Parenting is psychology, and it is sometimes best done by stealth. This is not to suggest that I need to be secretive, subversive or deviant. I simply need to be tactical in order to serve her and my best interests.
I watch her mood and try and gauge what I can get away with when I need to be ‘parent.’ Parenting is psychology, and it is sometimes best done by stealth. This is not to suggest that I need to be secretive, subversive or deviant. I simply need to be tactical in order to serve her and my best interests.
s
You know there is no value in getting angry with teenagers. They need (and you need) for you to stay in control of your emotions. They need your unconditional love and support through this time of their lives. And they also need to be kept accountable.
You know there is no value in getting angry with teenagers. They need (and you need) for you to stay in control of your emotions. They need your unconditional love and support through this time of their lives. And they also need to be kept accountable.
s
Watching the mood is a key. It’s never worth burning all your bridges at once in your relationship with your teenager. From my experience the moods don’t last very long (comparatively) and teens are normally quite apologetic when they’ve had time to analyse themselves.
s
Parenting a teenager is an interesting experience to say the least. It is part of a bond that’s about building a relationship you can have with your soon-to-be adult child. Imagine being a friend to your son or daughter -- that’s what it’s meant to be like. Like any relationship, it’s a two-way street. Trust and respect need to go both ways.
Parenting a teenager is an interesting experience to say the least. It is part of a bond that’s about building a relationship you can have with your soon-to-be adult child. Imagine being a friend to your son or daughter -- that’s what it’s meant to be like. Like any relationship, it’s a two-way street. Trust and respect need to go both ways.
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Copyright © 2008, Steven John Wickham. All Rights Reserved Worldwide.
Copyright © 2008, Steven John Wickham. All Rights Reserved Worldwide.
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