The Dark Night Prayer

“You should know that there are two sorts of prayers—the one tender, delightful, amicable, and full of sentiments; the other obscure, dry, desolate, tempted, and darksome.”

~Miguel de Molinos (1628–1696)

Some prayers are bellowed in hearty belts of praise; others are uttered, barely discernible, in silent whimpers. Both are prayers in suitable season. Both are good prayers.

The prayer of praise is usually formed by either the baby believer or the astute biblical veteran—believers at opposite ends of the spiritual maturity continuum.

A prayer of praise in a time of arid dryness is tantamount to the glory of victorious faith. With the fainting truth acknowledged, and the brutish reality accepted, the person prays in the full knowledge they are still sheltered by the covenant Lord of all creation; the Lord of all possibility. They choose belief in deliverance, whether it comes or not.

But it is the latter prayer of anguished lament that occasions this article.

The Language of Lament

The most versatile of prayers involves the language of lament. We learn this from David in consideration of his 50-odd laments in the book of Psalms. He uses the truth-of-his-circumstance to process his grief through the language of lament.

We have the same opportunity. When we pray via the language of lament we spill out the hurtful disgust deep in our souls before our Sovereign God who can help.

We do this in faith, for we know not how our help will come. But having prayed faithfully we will come to know the seeming magic in such a prayer of truth. This ‘magic’ is actually miraculous as it is healing.

Some may fearfully resist being so honest before God. They might feel they cannot be so coarse or crude. But God is no puritan who looks away in embarrassment at our most shameful circumstances. God knows our circumstances inside out, just as he knows our feelings and what we think of them.

So praying in the language of lament is an act of trust in God and it is choosing to be intimate with our Lord who can help.

***

The prayer of lament on a dark night, when all is wrong in our lives, is one of the greatest votes of faith in God. We could just as easily deny our true feelings. We could just as easily anaesthetise ourselves. But we know that’s not fixing anything.

There is faith in praying truthfully at our lowest ebb—and wisdom too.

When we are in the dark night of our soul, honest prayer is our way through. We know God more, and feel that Divine healing touch, when we are honest in our plight.

© 2012 S. J. Wickham.

Revelation – When God Fixes Spiritual Blindness

“I pray that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of glory, may give you a spirit of wisdom and revelation as you come to know him.”

~Ephesians 1:17 (NRSV)

When truth is revealed about our naïveté we are initially so embarrassed and shamed and that is painful. Revelation is a sticky matter that reveals our spiritual blindness, and, for a short time, we deride ourselves as to think, “How foolish have I been?”

But revelation was never designed to make us self-conscious for any length of time.

Revelation will surely embarrass the ardent follower of Christ when their folly is revealed. This leads to a quick portion of zealous repentance. Then the matter is forgotten.

We have no role in God’s Kingdom retaining shame or embarrassment for the things we didn’t previously know. Revelation is bringing us to new information or information we have forgotten. Revelation is God’s communication. We are to know what is on God’s heart. It is the Lord’s will.

The Clarity and Cleanness of Revelation

We can trust God to reveal what is on his heart for our lives, and in life generally. The closer we go to God, the closer we rely on his Word, and the more we know him by prayer and obedience, the more surely we will receive the spirit of wisdom and revelation.

And when we receive revelation, knowing without doubt it is from God, it comes with clarity and cleanness. It clears the shrubbery in our minds, wiping out acres of dense scrub with each clinical swoop of his hand. It leaves us much less confused, and decisive about issues set forth. This is possibly why, when a painful truth scatters our egos, we shriek inwardly—for a moment—one penitent moment.

God loves getting us to these penitential spaces. He can reason with us there.

When we bow before the Lord in submission because we are wrong, we obey God. Being wrong is good in that we recognise our place. God knows we can do better, but is heartened by our ability to see the sinful nature for what it is.

God knows we are horribly blind some of the time. “There, but for the grace of God, go I,” should be our slogan.

Revelation is clear and certain, not cloudy like the communication we receive from the evil one, who is bent on destruction. When we are stopped in our tracks, given the condition that we have a close walk with the Lord, it is almost certainly revelation. We are blessed to listen and then to apply, trusting the Lord.

***

God’s revelation is clear and powerful, revealing our spiritual blindness as it redirects us. The closer we walk with God the more is revealed to us and the less blind we are.

© 2012 S. J. Wickham.

Woundedness – Path to True Spirituality

“For God wounds, but he binds up;

he strikes, but his hands heal.”

~Job 5:18 (NRSV)

Our very wounds awaken, and are the cause of, our spiritual capacity. If not for our wounding, our critical and embarrassing weakness, and the exposure of same, we would not know God. And God wants us to further expose and even expand upon our wounds—to turn them from being our embarrassment to being the very cause for celebration.

Where a wound lies unacknowledged that wound is a liability to our entire person.

But where a wound is both known and lauded for its role in bringing us to God, that wound is the great testimony of our path. It is testimony of our fervency to, at last, adore the truth. It is testimony of our courage. Some never get there. We have.

Accepting our woundedness is like saying to the world, “Here I am—take me as I am presented this day—here am I! Still, God’s not finished with me yet. That’s okay by me.”

It is fascinating in life that when we are wounded we first know life; the wound signifies a great day as we look back. What may once have been seen as shameful now has the sense of glory about it—all because of what God did and continues to do.

Taking Delight In Our Wound

The wound reminds us of the battle—of our courage to withstand fear. Our wound reveals us as conquerable; yet, only in defeat do we face horrible truths in courage. It takes a loser to know how to be a true winner.

We don’t walk away from such bad news’ stories. They are not the end for us.

Once we were fearful and despondent; ashamed to go on. But, we look at our wounding differently now, sensing it as the opportunity that sets us apart.

The world thinks it is a perverse logic that sets our wound apart as victorious for us. But we know now that God turns the world’s logic upside down. We shake our heads in wonder and laugh within ourselves. How could God be so good as to convert our causes for guilt and shame into the material potent for salvation?

Making the Very Most of Our Wound

Having access into our vital spirituality through the very hole of our woundedness, we make the most of it. There are many who are still blind because they are either not aware of their wound or haven’t reconciled it.

We, on the other hand, sense the opportunity to live the most of our lives.

Spirituality is nothing without the truth. Being that the opportunity lies open, as we apply the truth, it changes us. Our hole through which our spirituality entered—our wound—receives revelations from God for the moment and every moment. We ask for revelation and receive. It is checked and validated by the truth.

We have the courage now to face all of life. If our wounding couldn’t crush us, nothing can. God is with us and nothing so devastating can be against.

***

Everyone has a wound. But it is not a fatal weakness. On the contrary, it is actually the path to God. Our woundedness was how God got through to us regarding our need of him. Our wound brought us to life!

Wounding is the passage to spirituality. What was once our shame—our wound—is now the very reason we are victors. Our strength lies in happily exposing and expanding upon our wound. It is where God proves continually faithful.

© 2012 S. J. Wickham.

The Gifts of Faith and Suffering

“God has graciously granted you the privilege not only of believing in Christ, but of suffering for him as well.”

~Philippians 1:29 (NRSV)

Before we get started we need to be clear about suffering. It isn’t as if God provides the suffering, but God does provide the power to suffer it well; for him. This is beyond stoicism.

Now that the above has been mentioned we can see that the gifts of faith and suffering are the very tools for enduring life in the sort of joy the world may find perverse.

But a reaction of seeming perversity cuts the world off to a vision of the secret of life. In this life there will be suffering, so there is no point in not enduring it. This life requires us to be a warrior. But warriors are often misunderstood.

The warrior, in this way at least, has learned to reverse his or her fear; to gain energy from it. The adept public speaker knows how to use their nerves; they have tapped into this warrior energy. We can easily say the apostle Paul had this energy and it compelled his ministry beyond many fears to shrink or abandon it.

Gospel Life And Warrior Life

This Gospel life, the commitment to live as a disciple of Jesus, is likened very much to the warrior life. It is hard for us, in our day-to-day suburban lives, to understand how much plain joy the warrior has in battleground fighting. He or she enjoys their opponent just as their opponent enjoys them. The battleground experience defines them, individually and collectively, as warriors, one and the same.

It is only when we step into this warrior life, with the belief it will be good for us, that we begin to understand how we can be joyful in it.

The battleground is our suffering, whatever that may be. And everyone has suffering; it may be to varying degrees; everyone has concerns of existence, pain to deal with, battles over thoughts and feelings, and uncertainty for the future.

If we are able to rise up above our fear, to intraject the gift of faith, we have ample ability to endure our suffering.

When we throw ourselves into our fears, we crush them with faith.

Help in Our Suffering

One of the most important theologies we ought never to forget, when we live for God’s purposes, is God will never leave us nor forsake us. In this way, within the suffering world, God is with us through these gifts of faith and suffering: the faith to deal with fear and the ability to suffer well.

Suffering well is a strange concept until we grasp that God is with us through it.

When we understand that God is with us, not against us, and we have the tool for victory over each moment’s fear, i.e. faith, we stand as the warrior in the battleground. When we think like a warrior, too, and we are pleased to possess this ground. We are defined by this very ground—our lives.

Battlegrounds are not to be resented. Neither are our lives nor any of our circumstances.

Suffering for Christ

Not only do we have a way of living this life, a way of living it well, we are privileged to suffer for Christ as Christ suffered for us on the cross. But only intimacy with God will convince us that this is actually a privilege.

When we suffer for Christ we understand intimacy with God just as the reverse is true. And when we suffer these ways we know how to suffer well.

***

God is gracious by the provision of gifts that enable us to live faithfully and suffer well. These together are the only effective weapons against every form of fear. Be glad and at joy. We can overcome.

© 2012 S. J. Wickham.

Sacrifice and Peace of Mind

“... present your bodies as a living sacrifice...”

~Romans 12:1 (NRSV)

As far as spiritual discipline goes, there is great value in sacrifice.

And not getting confused with aspects of theological sacrifice instead of mercy, we hold sacrifice in its correct context. Sacrifice is a critical tool in discipleship.

Consider this thought: the sacrifice we make now in the process of working toward a milestone is worth the peace of mind we will gain. But, compromise wins only angst.

Discipleship Is About Improvement

Many people get imbalanced regarding the role that self-help plays in the Christian faith. Some boil the faith down to just a better way of living life—with not enough focus on the Saviour. Yet others, in their rigid dogma, dispel discipleship for worship.

Both must coexist—worship first, then discipleship. Jesus said we need to worship in Spirit and in truth; he also requires us to pick up our cross, bear its load, and face truths as they come into our consciousness. By being a disciple we worship God!

There is a plain truth involved in discipleship; that to improve we need discipline. To stop doing things or to start doing things requires discipline. Even more discipline is required to maintain the things we start and stop. These both are by the power of God.

It has become Christian cliché that “God loves us as we are, but doesn’t want us to remain the way we are.” Salvation is not conditional on the work of discipleship, but only the work of discipleship will allow us to experience salvation. This is what Jesus was getting at when he spoke about eternal life regarding the knowledge of God (John 17:3). We know God by the way we live for God.

The Mode of Sacrifice in Discipleship

When we have reached a place, a state of mind, where we accept the mode of sacrifice in discipleship we, at last, have a way of living the true Christian life.

This life is about jettisoning the things of the world that forever hold us back; those habits and dependencies that keep us locked in, and bonded, against, and inaccessible to, the power of God.

When we can happily kiss goodbye the things our desires grapple for—maybe taking a little but not too much—we master self-control in the moment.

When we bear in mind the eventual peace and wellbeing we will achieve for doing or not doing what we know God is calling us to, we gain the instant’s peace. This could be considered a down payment on the tranquil peace of mind we gain at every milestone. Then confidence is added; we know we are pleasing God as we follow.

Self-sacrifice is central to discipleship, as self-development is central to experiencing the eternal life now. What is central to all this is our dedication to truth. In terms of this life, only the truth will set us free.

© 2012 S. J. Wickham.

Knowing the Intimate Christ

“The more we know of Christ, the more we shall love Him and the better we shall serve Him.”

~Dwight L. Moody (1837–1899)

There are worlds of difference in the knowledge of God. The everyday person knows of Jesus by hearsay, and the Christian knows their Lord more intimately. But the difference between having a slight personal acquaintance with Jesus and living deeply for him is patently vast. The Christian who has committed their lives to following the biblical Jesus will throw all their available effort, and all their love, into increasing their knowledge of this Saviour of theirs.

Knowing the intimate Christ is making ourselves available mentally, emotionally, and spiritually for the most important relationship of our lives. Such knowledge is about letting the Spirit of God tap into our psyches via our surrendered obedience. This is allowing intimacy with God to take place. That can only occur when we live and breathe for it.

God never limits intimacy with us; it is only us that limit our intimacy with him.

Getting Past Casual Intimacy

Any marriage worth its salt has gotten past casual intimacy, and continues to do so. It is no good for that marriage to regress. Both husband and wife must nurture intimacy through mutual humility, continually.

Our marriage covenant with God is different.

Because God is always passionate about nurturing intimacy with us, the humility of God is implied. Look at the cross—the greatest example, ever, of enduring humility.

Because we are not so passionate, our humility always needs work. Just like being a conventional husband or wife, we need to continue working hard to know God.

But at the same time we must get rid of all effort to work tirelessly, unless for God.

The Conference Between Work and Love

For intimacy with God both work and love, in conference, are required. They must work together, in a way cooperating. For the work, love is the motive. But work is a tangible product. Love is the attitude, work is the behaviour. True intimacy with God is forged by work and love in unified conference.

The more we seek to be rooted in God, and to remain there, the more we can know him, and the more we can love and better serve him. Love will compel us to work and work will bring meaning to our love. An ongoing conference between the two is sustained: building to an eternal circle representing a continual interplay between the both.

***

There is always more intimacy with God to be experienced. The more we know Christ, the more we love, and the better, more passionate, our work of service.

© 2012 S. J. Wickham.

Experiencing the Warrior Inside

The warrior is in service to a purpose beyond him; something transcendent and noble. He competes because that is his role; everything is adversarial. Spiritual warfare seeks out the warrior inside us. Everyone alive needs their warriorhood. That is because everyone fights a spiritual war from within them and external to them. As God is everywhere, so it seems is the war.

Experiencing the warrior inside is opening ourselves to the soldier within who complains not of the battle but is delighted to serve.

Experiencing the warrior inside is containing the fear in the presence of courage. Even as the battle rages, and terrifying visions intercede, the warrior has to beat these visions down or they get in the way of the real conquest. Focus becomes him.

Experiencing the warrior inside can be by either good or evil. I, of course, advocate for the good warrior, for all Christian warriors are essentially fighting the spiritual war against The Adversary. That evil being, which is manifest in myriad form, has us on the run all our lives or we stop and turn against the evil by fighting the good fight of faith.

To be a warrior requires us to act in accord with certain inalienable values that are supremely above us:

Truth Against Lies – the good warrior, one who is devoted to goodness in all its ways, seeks for truth. There is no other way to live life. Commanding efforts is the screen for truth through which all of life is sieved. When in battle the warrior looks for truth but expects lies, but is not tainted in his outlook by seeing lies in the truth. He plans for the best but expects the worst. He is calculatingly realistic. The warrior never gives up on truth, because truth is the way to justice.

Justice Against Injustice – good and evil are encapsulated in these two words. The good warrior fights for justice, but learns early on to devote himself to winning the war, and not every pathetic battle. Oftentimes initial defeats honour later victories. There is the exercise of discernment and the reliance on healthy boundaries. This warrior knows up from down and down from up. And whilst he is reviled by injustice, he has the mettle to maintain his emotional discipline. His tactics are calculated, rehearsed, honed. He times his charge to perfection. And he always fights for the justice of others and not for his own justice, unless to defend critical boundaries.

Love Against Fear – underpinning the good warrior is an energy source that is wholly good. This energy source purges fear and promotes love; indeed, it is love. It is God—who is Love—that provides. All of the warrior’s discernment is accurate because of love; but he needs to continue to return to it. That is because love is bigger than he is. All his power is from love. Without love, he, like everyone else is in that state, becomes nothing.

***

We exist in a realm surrounded by invisible spiritual warfare. Part of our role is to adopt the warrior: to seek truth; defend justice; and be energised by love. Only when we are in touch with the warrior inside can we endure a long life, with resilience our way.

© 2012 S. J. Wickham.

Christ Our All, Our Light

“Now we have seen Christ is our Savior, Redeemer, Deliverer, Leader, or Way. But He is more than all that: He is our Light.”

~Dwight L. Moody (1837–1899)

It seems as we live our lives, we, in our sinfulness, are duped into many forms of darkness. If it was good enough for the apostle Paul—referring specifically to Romans chapter 7—it is good enough for us. We are tested by many cloudy skies. When we are truthful, darkness fills many of our days, or part thereof.

But in all our religiosity, in the grandness of our spiritual spectre, there is a shadow of light we need to be aware of. Not all light is Christ-Light. Sometimes we may ascend ourselves. Sometimes we may go too far and be blinded by the light in our darkness.

Such naivety takes the Christ-Light for granted. From this ‘tradition’ comes the false teacher.

So there are two problems. Where there is both insufficient and excess Light. Both are of the devil. Our spiritual challenge is to discern the Christ-Light from the darkness of the other two.

Where There Is Too Much Light

Too much light is a fabrication of Satan and we are blinded by light in our darkness.

This is a problem of blindness to the point of a certain self-righteousness. The naïve ascendant flatters themselves in their outlook and capability. We may be too trusting, and, worst of all, of ourselves. It does us no harm to distrust our own motives. The reasons we do things are so often flawed. This is nothing to get down about, apart from developing a common realism—we ought to be honest before God.

Probably a more prevalent problem is the lack of Light in our lives.

Where There Is Not Enough Light

Too little light is also the work of Satan in this world, to dissuade us from viewing all matters in life, even the dark bits, within the realm of plain Christ-Light. This is when there is no denial of truth, but where the light of life is free to shine.

It is too easy to see ourselves as dark figures in a dark world. Such an outlook shuts out the Christ-Light, refusing the Holy Spirit’s access into our lives.

It is our role to be salt and light in the world. We can only be so if we are fed from Christ’s Light itself. May it be that we ruminate over God’s Word, pray, and sing spiritual songs and hymns often, to remind us of the glorious possession we have!

***

Perspective is crucial in the spiritual life. Two great threats are spiritual naivety and spiritual darkness. When we make room for Christ’s Light we see more truthfully.

© 2012 S. J. Wickham.

King David’s 3 Stages of Grieving

“How the mighty have fallen.”

~2 Samuel 1:19b, 25a, 27a (NRSV)

The early refrain of 2 Samuel is the sorrowful lament of the Lord’s anointed—David. Having reconciled the moments of destruction in Saul’s and Jonathan’s lives, David is bereft of anything but the bitterest grief. But his attitude toward it is a lesson to everyone in dealing with the worst of personal circumstances.

Even in his anguish, he commands Judah to learn, memorise, and recite this history.

In our age we much more readily deny the reality of our pain; we never enjoy meeting it full on. We can be sure that neither did David. But David had the wisdom to know that a full reconciliation of healing is dependent upon a full reconciliation of the situation’s pain.

1. Delving Into, Not Denying, the Pain

There is a simple reason why David wrote most of the laments in the biblical Psalms. He believed in delving into the pain, by fully exploring it in the words of prayer to God. The character of these prayers is complaint. From fatigue to bitterness to outrage, and a million forms of emotion between, David wept before his Lord.

He was as real as he possibly could be. He could deny nothing of his pain. And neither should we.

David, therefore, had a way of laying siege to his spiritual dirge. What was attacking him—his excruciations—were turned on their head. He attacked his pain by staring it in the eyes before God.

2. Holding the Tension In Between Times

One of the greatest difficulties with grief is the length of time it takes to fully recover.

There is this awkward in-between time we must endure where the sharpness of pain has been dealt with, but the vision for hope of a better future, for deliverance no less, is still far off.

In some ways this can be worse than the biting pain of initial grief, for at least back then we had a firm feeling for God. The Lord’s presence was nearby. Now we enter a dry time. And although our relationship with God is good it doesn’t feel quite as close as it used to.

This is a pain all itself. There is a certain spiritual numbness about it. And we are reminded, again and again, of the need to be patient. The new life is coming. Our biggest test is maintaining our resolve to the end—to become recovered, fully.

We need to remember David spent lengthy times in the cave and on the run.

3. Making Way for the New

For the new to arrive there must be room for it. The only way a new reality can take place is if the old has been dealt with. We cannot get rid of the old until we have grieved it adequately.

As David recovered from his grief there is little sign of jubilation, but plenty of evidence for moving on, whilst remembering the sacrifices made by all parties. Such humility makes David stand out as a biblical hero on how to grieve.

***

Even the strongest of us fall. And at our mightiest we are never safe from grief. But within the tragedy is an irony; our grief is the gateway to new life.

Whilst the pain in grief is frightening at the time, embracing it is the avenue to new life. When we meet all the pain in our grief with courage our experience of life is deepened and our character is matured. Blessed are those who take the long-term perspective.

© 2012 S. J. Wickham.

Life’s Number One Goal

“When it’s all been said and done,

There is just one thing that matters,

Did I do my best to live for truth?

Did I live my life for you?”

~Robin Mark, When It’s All Been Said and Done

The compulsion to live for truth must surely be the greatest of God’s blessings.

Fired from within, the instinct of conscience employs faith as we go out in truth beyond many temptations to self-protect out of fear.

This done, the truth becomes more important to us than fleeting comforts, because we have the faith that siding with the truth will avail the supreme comfort—salvation. Living for truth does justice regarding to the price of our salvation. It cost our Saviour his life to save us. And we were saved to live for God.

No Fear?

It has become popular, in contemporary times, to advocate a “no fear” approach to life. But just how do we achieve it?

The answer is simple.

We live for truth—always with no conscious exceptions. The dream-life of self-actualisation, or transcending the old self or defeating the flesh, is also available when we live for truth alone. All our decisions, and, inevitably all our thinking, becomes driven by the need to align to reality.

The best of disciples takes up their cross, by abiding against partiality and for truth. When the disciple of Jesus does this they weed out fear and have every part of wisdom, for wisdom is contingent on truth; as, also, truth is the vehicle for operant faith.

So, if we really want to live fearlessly we may find that following Jesus is the only way. Living for Jesus is living for truth. Picking up our crosses is just that; the most fervent commitment to truth we can imagine.

The Very Best of Life

Life’s number one goal—to live for truth—is not only what is required of us in obeying God, but it also goes toward giving us the very best of life, as life eventually works out.

When we have nothing more to fear other than having a holy respect for reality, we are poised for the very best of life. It obviously takes faith to believe in advance of the blessings. To take truth so seriously, and to be accountable to it, is the very best protection against the woes of life. Think of being beyond temptation, not that we ever will be. But as we commit to living as truthfully as possible modern temptations don’t have the lustre they used to have. We become more cemented in living for the applause of only One.

***

The best of life is achieved when we live for truth. We substitute compromise for commitment. We swap haughtiness for humility. We exchange selfish doggedness for dependence on God.

© 2012 S. J. Wickham.