“Have the courage to be disliked.” When I read it from a Christian site, I recoiled. I know what it’s saying. “Don’t be afraid of upsetting people if you have to.” I agree to that end. Try not to be upset if you upset people, because some people glory in controlling others through being upset.
But, of course, there’s more.
I want to use The Chosen’s Jesus (played by Jonathan Roumie) to describe a better way.
The Chosen’s depiction of Jesus is that he’s neither afraid when people are upset by who he is and what he does, nor is he intimidated to the point of meeting aggression with aggression.
He stands his ground but is still very much
committed to the person and the conversation.
The Chosen’s Jesus does this in the latest episode (Season 2, Episode 7) when Jesus is hauled before Quintus, the Roman Praetor in Capernaum, and everyone fears for what might happen—everyone but Jesus. Of course, any of us who know the Bible narrative know it’s far too early for any harm to come to Jesus—and besides, from The Chosen’s viewpoint, there’s over five seasons to run—that’s 41 more episodes to come to be exact.
Jesus sits in the room with powerful Quintus and doesn’t just put on the guise of calmness. He IS calm. In a situation that would either intimidate anyone enough to shrink in cowardice or inspire a foolish fit of rage, Jesus calmly owns the moment—neither with even a hint of snarkiness, nor with any sense of anxiety.
Jesus stands his ground but is still very much committed to the person and the conversation.
Both things—standing our ground when we’re aggressed and staying in connection with the person aggressing us—are very hard for us to do, and to do them simultaneously is doubly hard. THIS is peacemaking.
The trouble with “Have the courage to be disliked” is we use such an ethos to inspire more than courage because it’s almost impossible to not flip straight from submitting to the aggressor to meeting their aggression with our own aggression—usually through passive aggression (which is still aggression).
We want people to prove how we’ll not put up with their nonsense anymore, so when we do end up displaying courage it inevitably goes beyond assertiveness into aggression.
In the first season of The Chosen, the third episode in fact, Jesus’ character alone in the wilderness is depicted, as well as his prayerful relationship with and dependence on the Father. It’s a striking episode. This episode also features a band of children who stumbled across Jesus’ campsite, visited with him, helping him, and are then discipled by him.
There is a teaching that occurs around justice and forgiveness, where Jesus commends the children to be peacemakers. A situation around conflict emerges, and in context of ‘An eye for an eye’ Jesus tells the children, “You’re to act differently than others.” The Chosen’s Jesus says, “What if how we’ve been told to behave and to treat one another are wrong?”
At this point, the children, as do we here, sit up to attention. Different? We’re to be different? How so? It comes from the ancient teaching, “Vengeance is mine, says the Lord.”
“Maybe we let God provide the justice, huh?” says Jesus. “Do not expect Messiah to come into Jerusalem on a tall horse... but he will be most pleased with the peacemakers... this is my reason for being here.”
Jesus wants us to be peacemakers, just as he was a peacemaker, making peace between us and God on the cross.
Years ago, this wasn’t a revolutionary truth—to leave justice to God—but nowadays in much of Christian faith it is. I myself, have fallen into this error. It’s okay to be wrong.
Have courage to disliked, sure, just respect those who might be upset because of it.
Where Jesus is really radical is he believes in everyone, and even where they prove obnoxious, he believes in their potential to change.
Think about it. If we have such a regard for people—viewing them as 10 out of 10, just like God does—we’re more likely to be able to behave like peacemakers because we’re not intimidated by people when they behave abysmally.
You might think, “Well, that’s a waste of time!” Treating people as we’d want to be treated is more about protecting our heart than it is about the other person. This is about, “Guarding your heart, for it is the wellspring of life.” (Proverbs 4:23).
The only way we protect our heart against hurting others is to not allow others to hurt us. Even when people do hurt us, we don’t need to submit to the desire for revenge. We overcome others’ evil by responding in the good.
There’s no super power like being beyond the carnal need to get back at someone.
The Chosen is accessible FREE through the App—Google it. Watch it straight away, but start from the beginning. #ComeandSee
Image: from The Chosen.
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