What feels like tiredness, but is more, much more debilitating, where mental health goes into freefall, the body refuses to work, the mind cannot think, and the being cannot feel, is an indescribable state. It could be just for brief periods, but it’s like all the life forced is sucked out. Surrender occurs because there is no other choice.
Whether we call Christ our Saviour or not matters little. As a function of trauma or of inexplicable reasons, whatever, we can descend into crashes like this. Through burning out or through grief for loss, and it matters little the victory you have in Christ or anything else you may cling to.
Certainly, as far as faith in Christ goes, I know there are those who believe it’s an all-conquering thing, as if click your fingers and every ailment goes away. This is not the hallmark of Christian faith. Faith in Jesus occurs in the opposite orientation — when we are weak then we are strong, yes, even though we are weak. We don’t need to overcome in our own strength for Christ has already overcome FOR us.
Whether we suffer depression, trauma, anxiety, fatigue, panic attacks, triggering, burning out, chronic pain or not matters little in the economy of God, and yet God — yes, God — is a sufferer! God groans with all creation. God bears pain. Our pain, most intimately. We cannot know God more or better than when we’re in the midst of our own existential torment.
We are in the best company when we suffer. God is close whether we feel God is close or not. It’s a divine fact. When we have nothing left to give, we can know that we’re not required to give anything to receive it all from God; every need, not least our precious salvation.
We live in the hope of a resurrection; THAT is the victory of the gospel. It is a ‘now but not yet’ reality, and it isn’t for us to gloat about how ‘good’ our faith is if we can miraculously procure it. Indeed, all miracles belong to God and all glory goes to our King, and yet the King and Lord of glory would not have one person separated because they ‘don’t have sufficient faith’.
Indeed, God knows that the person who suffers many debilitations is the living testimony of faith. And what God says is all that matters.
May the peace of God be with you all ways.
Photo by Michael Shannon on Unsplash
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