Desperate texts, despairing phone calls, anguish written all over a person’s face. I’ve seen it all. I’ve received many over the years, and I’ve also instigated concern at times in those who care for me.
One thing that doesn’t surprise me is the power of a small thing underwritten in empathy.
Any of us may discount what we can do in alleviating someone’s pain. But when we’re on the other side, plunged deep into the abyss, we know just how important and profound a simple, kind gesture is.
Sometimes it’s a word, and it can literally be one word, usually with a tone denoting the sincerest care. Actually, I know from experience, it’s almost the least amount said that has the most supportive impact. It’s an opportunity to be present in the listening, and the more we resist saying anything, the more someone will FEEL cared for.
There’s almost nothing a smile cannot accomplish in a tense situation.
I recall being at a state league basketball game and pacifying a heated exchange between one of our fans and one of the other team’s officials. All I did was get between them, smile, and affirm them both! That’s it. Within seconds I could feel both responding to the calm I endeavoured to bring.
Smiles work in shopping centres, in queues, on the road, and elsewhere, so long as our heart is smiling. And that’s the secret. It’s kindness that offers a smile when everyone’s frowning. A smiler knows they can bring peace even in angry and violent situations provided they’re prayerfully kind.
If you notice the snippets of text messages and emails in the image, you’ll see that these are all normal, albeit there is desperation in some of them. These are all parts of messages that I possess. I didn’t even have to look far.
If you think about the sorts of messages you receive or send, you may agree. Desperation is part of our human condition. We have the opportunity to harmonise the threatening moods of desperation to make a place of safety both for ourselves and the others we care about.
Hugging is something that is also underrated—at least for those who feel safe being hugged, and for those who feel comfortable giving hugs. Long lingering hugs punctuated with purity are completely non-sexual and affirm our deepest needs for acceptance and belonging.
Can you imagine how powerful an interaction of listening and appropriate (for the person being cared for) physical presence is? So simple and profound. The less we do, the more impact we have, if we truly care. Somehow God does all the work.
There are people we know—not least ourselves at times—every single day who could do with an encouraging word, a listening ear, a smile, a hug.
The more we pray for opportunities to do these things, the more we’ll notice situations needing our help, and the more God will have people pick us out. It is an enormous privilege to be trusted enough to help.
I can tell you now, I’ve faced such desperate situations emotionally and spiritually that God has shown me how common and how brutal desperate situations are. Help is desperately needed.
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