O God, my Saviour, Lord and King
I come to You desperately but passionately; highly motivated to set the record straight, not to clear my name, but to make right this wrong if at all I can; sorrowful not for myself, but for the other who I have wounded; with a heart happy never to be forgiven, completely at the mercy of the one I hurt, because I have no right to insist I be exonerated, but with the desire to reconcile.
This may not be a big thing to others, but I know it’s a big thing to the one I’ve hurt, and it’s a big thing to me, because it is wrong.
As I track back, I know I wasn’t in my right mind, even if I thought I was at the time; to see things as they were, misguided as much as I may have been, I’m sorry before You that I discerned it incorrectly. And even if I was in my right mind, I acted inappropriately. I should have known better.
My prayer, Lord, is for the one I hurt; that they would experience joy in abundance; not simply because they have received justice through this prayer of apology, but that You compensate them for the sorrow I caused. My prayer is that hope would rise, and that peace would return to them. May they receive the recompense of faith for the justice that has come to their door today.
I’m thankful, Lord, first and foremost, that Your Spirit has made the truth clear to me, and I’m even more thankful that You’ve done this sorry work in my heart; that the truth is more important to me than me saving face or not having to face the consequences. Only You could have done that work in my heart, and I’m supremely thankful that You have changed me for all time to seek justice, whatever the personal cost. I’m thankful that this burden has lifted and been transformed into the will to act so You would bring Your peace to them, and that in that, You are glorified.
So, I pray that today and tomorrow and for all the days coming; that You would give me the steps and the words and the heart underpinning all this, to make my apology and make good on the promise You’ve unfurled in my heart.
I pray that the apology I give will make the difference it needs to; that it will bring the freedom and release and peace that it needs to; that genuine and full recompense would be possible, and that their heart would know absolute relief. And give me compassion in the instance that they’re not instantly relieved.
I know Your Spirit goes before me, Lord. Help me if and when I’m tempted to defend myself; when my flesh gets in the way; help me to see if and when pride rises. Help me be solemn and insightful, and full of love and unswerving in my commitment to truth for serve the person I’ve let down.
I don’t pray for the future in this case, Lord. I don’t want to get ahead of myself. Help me stay in this present, where I know what to do; where my guilt has been transformed by You into the desire to act for justice; but I do pray I would not cause more harm.
Go with me, be with me, be with us, Lord,
In Jesus’ Name,
AMEN.
Photo by Priscilla Du Preez on Unsplash
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