Love and the Limits of Shock Absorption

If wisdom is the practice of living life well, then it becomes a consequence that wisdom has a way; a method to be practiced. There just has to be a process for the practice of wisdom that works in life.

God has been sharing an image with me today; it is a metaphor. The image is that of a car shock absorber. These wonderful car components are attached to the springs in the car, and where the springs give the car sufficient bounce and flexibility, the shock absorbers smoothen the ride. They take the shock out of the bumps. They cushion the journey. Yet they deal with the bumpiness of the road that cannot be hidden.

Shock absorbers deal in the truth,
yet their role is grace.

I think our role as loving human beings, hardly with the need to mention beings who love Christ, is to be shock absorbers within the contexts we’re planted. Our role, within the patience we display, as in the fruit of the Spirit, is to absorb hurt as much as we can, and indeed many of us have become past masters of this very trade. Many of us know what it is like to be abused. But when it comes to absorbing shock, there is a very godly trait in bearing with endurance many a common slur.

How else are we set apart? How else will people know that we love Christ if we cannot absorb a hurt? Again, I’m talking about hurts we may easily overlook; those that are not repetitive and not from the same person repetitively but hurts all the same.

It says in Proverbs 19:11, that it is to a person’s glory when they overlook an offence. Nothing will get us more positive attention from positive people than when we overlook an offence. The right people notice. The people we really want to be relating with will see the grace we exhibit in absorbing hurt, the bedrock of which is humility, and they will find us attractive, because they find us to be safe, and because we’re safe, we are trustworthy and worthy of investing friendship in. See how absorbing hurts wins friends; the right kinds of friend.

Of course, we don’t simply absorb the shock of hurt for one gain or another. We do it because it is the wise thing to do. We do it because it is the only modus operandi that works. It is both good for us and good for the other. It is a source of blessing and blessing is its food.

If anyone can feel at home, they can feel at home with a shock absorber. They know they can get it wrong and yet won’t be blamed. They know their failure won’t be held against them. They know there is grace because they have experienced grace. The shock absorber is someone who builds cohesive community. Wherever they go there is peace.

Here is a timely word of warning. There is a limit to the capacities of shock absorption. Wherever we run into toxic people and rub up against toxic relationships, our capacities for shock absorption will be taken for granted, and ultimately, we will become jaded. But that won’t be the end of it. With some we will be burned. It isn’t safe to be a shock absorber in a toxic relationship. Perhaps we may know this already, when we find we are in constant shock absorption mode.

But for the main, as a living priority, as a modus operandi for life, as a living deed, we can and should, for the glory of God, aim to be shock absorbers for those who come to rely on us, without allowing ourselves to be flattened by abusers.

Photo by Joshua Earle on Unsplash