On what should have been great
cause for celebration, I couldn’t believe there was nothing in me. No joy or
pain or light. Nothing. No thoughts. Hardly a feeling, which, in itself,
stirred a great sense of dissonance with me. How could I possibly feel this
way? Shouldn’t I feel excited! No, just tired and overwhelmed.
I called the person who I rely
upon. She listened. I wondered why she’d listen so intently for those forty-five
minutes, but there she was, during long gaps of silence, waiting on me, on the
other end of the phone.
She didn’t say much, but what she
said was just what I needed to hear, even if I didn’t know what I needed to
hear. She listened and gently encouraged — with a soft, calm voice responding to
the timidity in my spirit.
Feeling so weak of mind with such
doubt of heart for what I later realised wasn’t logical, I wrestled down the
moment, wondering where the logic was, from what was illogical.
And still, she listened. A Godsend.
An angel. Someone I could call and simply bear my heart with.
I don’t know if you have someone
who cares for you. But if you do, like myself, you feel blessed, don’t you?
When we’re beside ourselves with fear or sadness or for simply being
overwhelmed, they come to our rescue in simply being Jesus in skin. And though
it should be a simple thing to do, caring like Jesus is rare.
That’s Jesus, don’t you know? That
person willing to be with us, listening to us, praying with us, providing for
our practical and spiritual needs. We all need someone like this sometimes.
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