Being a
pastor is a leadership role, and, as I learned
recently, there is the threat that our roles might clash and the choosing of wrong
priorities can get the better of us. A while ago, on a day when I had my own
family concerns to think about, there were prevalent ministry pressures also. Sometimes
I find that I have to discern the needs of two or more situations and then make
decisions based on the urgency and importance of those differing needs.
It is always a choice what we do with our time,
and we need to be responsible for the choices we make. Family must always come
first, but it is easy to think that other people can’t survive without your
ministry. Such an assumption is based in pride – that we are more important
than we actually are, or that what we offer is indispensible.
On the occasion I’m talking about I decided to
prioritise a ministry ‘priority’ whilst in the company of my wife, when my wife
definitely needed my undivided attention. She was unimpressed and I was equally
unimpressed that she ‘didn’t seem to get’ the importance of the work of
ministry – pride!
My wife let me know in no uncertain terms that
I was out of line. I provided quiet resistance, thinking she was the one who
was out of line. But, then, the Spirit of God revealed my folly to me.
My wife needed me. Was I not a child-of-God
first, husband second, father third, son fourth, and minister fifth? Sweet
revelation. When pride is revealed, there’s a choice. Do we get stuck in the
stubbornness of resisting God’s silent rebuke, or do we pour contempt on our
pride and repent?
Revelation of sin should convict us to repent
of that sin.
In my situation I quickly had to back pedal and
convince my wife that I understood that she was right and that I was wrong; my
priorities and choices were all wrong in this instance.
Once I had made a genuine and committed
apology, and I had started to demonstrate more care for my wife, I felt God
gently restoring me. It all depended on the care of my wife’s spirit.
God is deeply interested in how we care for
others. We can never justify hurting people. If the Holy Spirit reveals us in
sin, he gives us the opportunity to repent. Restoration should always follow
repentance. It does with God.
© 2014 S. J. Wickham.
Credit for inspiring this article
must go to Patrick Lencioni’s “The Most Dangerous Mistakes Leaders Make,”
delivered at the 2014 Willow Creek Association, Global Leadership Summit.
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