We peered
at the horizon as the storm clouds loomed,
We
wondered, the mystery of leaden encroaching skies,
Though
clouds have settled overhead thunder hasn’t yet boomed,
The clap
of the heavens will reverberate when our baby dies.
When the
mystery is exchanged for numbing grief,
Having meet our little darling, finally, having earned their peace,
There’ll be no sense for hardship or joy or relief,
Our loss
will hold us apart from an eternity of release.
***
Oh what the day will bring – a calamitous notion; an
incongruous reality; the first and only thunder crack peeling from the heavens;
a last gasp and the slowing to a stop of the heartbeat. We fully expect to
reacquaint with our darling little one in heaven one day.
Our loss
will hold us apart from an eternity of release.
Our loss
will teach us; we have yet to even perceive that contemplation. We cannot yet
know it. We ponder what it may be like; the moment, the seconds, the labour,
the exhausted relief of having delivered the baby and the momentary ecstasy to
meet him or her, which will too soon be replaced with earth-shattering and
soul-piercing sorrow to be there in the experience of their passing.
I
apologise if this is too dark, but it does help me to wonder into the future. I
find grief not to be feared, but cherished, for God is there in the absence of
hope and in the vacuum of life.
As our perceptions
are shaped by our realities we can expect to experience something very solemn
and holy.
Sorrowful
seasons are bruising but bettering. As we step forth in the day of annihilation
– where soul and spirit are split asunder, with pain – we are greeted by a
companion who will never let go; who will show us for who we are as he will
show us who he is.
The signs
medically, they are polarising. The aggressive nature of the amniotic fluid
build up, and the status of other indicators, leaves us expecting birth
anytime.
As always
we look to God in the heavens, and with us, and in us, here on Earth.
Through
it all, our eyes are on him. And we are still being blessed to minister in
those special lives God has given us to enter into at this time. God is good.
No matter how dark the clouds are overhead, God is good.
© 2014 S. J. Wickham.
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