“Let every (person) be quick to hear [a ready listener], slow to speak, slow to take offense and to get angry.” -James 1:19b Amplified (gender inclusive).
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This is a key to living in a world full of people. The moment we can listen without having something to say is the moment we begin to relate well.
This is a key to living in a world full of people. The moment we can listen without having something to say is the moment we begin to relate well.
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There is so much ‘higher order’ thinking of the neocortex involved here. From both physiological and psychological viewpoints, the thinking that allows us not to take offence is diverted away from the more primary thinking of the reptilian and mammalian brain. If we were to think only from these centres we’d not even think of listening.
There is so much ‘higher order’ thinking of the neocortex involved here. From both physiological and psychological viewpoints, the thinking that allows us not to take offence is diverted away from the more primary thinking of the reptilian and mammalian brain. If we were to think only from these centres we’d not even think of listening.
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This process of higher order thinking can only occur with extensive myelination (i.e. training) of the neural pathways. In other words, we only get to better and more consistent thinking by going through the pain of either being taught or by teaching ourselves through self-discipline and this is impossible to do well without the right motivation.
This process of higher order thinking can only occur with extensive myelination (i.e. training) of the neural pathways. In other words, we only get to better and more consistent thinking by going through the pain of either being taught or by teaching ourselves through self-discipline and this is impossible to do well without the right motivation.
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There must come a time when we truly believe that what others have to say is as important or as valuable as the contributions we might make. There are people who are impatient and wish to be heard, and there are people who patiently wait their turn before making known what their view is -- we desire to be the latter. Patience and trust in the moment is key; again, there’s a cue back to higher order neocortex thinking.
There must come a time when we truly believe that what others have to say is as important or as valuable as the contributions we might make. There are people who are impatient and wish to be heard, and there are people who patiently wait their turn before making known what their view is -- we desire to be the latter. Patience and trust in the moment is key; again, there’s a cue back to higher order neocortex thinking.
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The classic situation where this is undone is during a meeting where everyone wants their say. So, how do we make active listening work in meetings? Perhaps it’s a case of making a rule that people who speak after someone who’s just made a point should demonstrate understanding of that point before they move on to present their own?
The classic situation where this is undone is during a meeting where everyone wants their say. So, how do we make active listening work in meetings? Perhaps it’s a case of making a rule that people who speak after someone who’s just made a point should demonstrate understanding of that point before they move on to present their own?
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We do relate better with people when we’ve given them our fullest possible attention when they’re speaking; when we’re ‘other-focused.’ This demonstrates both maturity of character and physiological development of the higher order thinking pathways.
We do relate better with people when we’ve given them our fullest possible attention when they’re speaking; when we’re ‘other-focused.’ This demonstrates both maturity of character and physiological development of the higher order thinking pathways.
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Peter Drucker says, "To improve communications, work not on the utterer, but on the recipient."
Peter Drucker says, "To improve communications, work not on the utterer, but on the recipient."
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Copyright © 2008, Steven J. Wickham. All Rights Reserved Worldwide.
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