Holiday Bliss? Not! ... Surviving School Holidays

“Two weeks of hell to look forward to!” blasted one father under his breath as his son approached him, as I picked my daughter up from school, on the last day prior to school holidays. (I’d made an unrelated remark in a vain attempt to establish rapport and received this response.) He was adamantly not happy. Reflecting on it now, I’m unsure if he was actually serious or not, but I wasn’t going to enquire any further, though I did want to challenge his assertion. One wonders if it’s like this for the father, what’s it going to like for this child? Hell too, I’d imagine... mmm.

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I wondered also how many other parents openly or secretly felt this way as all the kids hurriedly crammed all their term’s work into their bags, anticipating two weeks off -- a felt eternity for some (and not just the kids!). I relate to the feeling going through the average parent’s mind.

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The truth is all parents want time to themselves. Parenting is hard work and anyone who says anything different is dreaming. A time of ‘holidays’ with children, particularly when there is little planned, could bring a state of dread on any parent... “How do I keep these kids entertained?” could be the desperate response as the holiday period looms imminently.

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But there’s another side to consider...

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The attitude of this father also strikes me as the direct opposite of gratitude. I thought later about the thousands of adults who can’t have kids, whether for lack of opportunity or for lack of genetic ability or for some other reason; adults who’d give an arm, figuratively speaking, to have a child. (There are many also who repeatedly undergo fertility programmes unsuccessfully and suffer heartache year after year, and those who’ve suffered miscarriages, ectopic pregnancies, stillbirths etc.)

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Where does this attitude of ingratitude come from? The featured father may have presumably had parents with similar views that he’s expressed. Perhaps he had a hell-of-a-childhood? Or perhaps he’s just got a funny sense of humour?

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Let’s take a positive tack. A parent is entrusted, yes, that is given charge over a young life; to grow and develop this young person, and hopefully in goodness and grace, in truth and love. The parent’s role is not so much about “hard work,” but it’s about planning, teaching, coaching, and advising, and ‘managing’ this young life. That’s what it’s like when we break the job down. Also, you could take a visionary approach: your child is your key life business venture, the one you have bold positive dreams about, and the one you want to show off one day as the product of your hard work, not that you’ll own the results, but you’ll have had your hand on ‘this project.’

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What about some questions asked in the first person context?

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~~ Where will my child be in five years, or fifteen years for that matter? Better put what life will I have shown them (I won’t get a second chance at this).

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~~ What will they say about me as a father or mother? Will I be content with my own level of input?

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~~ What sort of father or mother will they be for my grandchildren based on my example? (Grandparents often view kids [and certainly their grandchildren] differently from how they viewed their own children.)

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~~ What attitudes will I have instilled in them toward the poor, the disabled, and those less fortunate?

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~~ Will I have equipped them sufficiently for them to have a happy, loving, and law-abiding life?

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A little planning can make for an awesome holiday and time with the kids. The above questions bear pondering about. Many of us know the law of cause and effect. Be a poor parent or be a loving, visionary parent. It’s your choice. You’ll inevitably get back what you invest.

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© Copyright 2008, Steven John Wickham. All Rights Reserved Worldwide.