Avoiding and Resolving “Midlife Crisis” Pain

There’s information everywhere on this subject. But it’s not everywhere you can find practical solutions to this problem. Midlife crises don’t affect everyone. But, it does affect you, or someone you love, right? It’s a period of psychological and emotional questioning and re-evaluation causing intense pain and sorrow. Carl Jung described it as “a condition of soul loss and recovery.”[1] The root cause is re-evaluation and the effect is a sense of hopelessness.

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Some practical solutions:

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~~ Remain optimistic. You’re invariably better off than you feel. Find time to have a chat with a friend or find someone objective to support you. But don’t lean on one person too much.

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~~ Exercise physically if possible. Nothing is better for our self-esteem and self-worth than exercise.

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~~ Re-evaluation -- remember that re-evaluation is a positive step; just ensure it remains positive and ensure it doesn’t become destructive.

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~~ Expectations -- check your expectations. Often we get disappointed and then depressed because we haven’t achieved what we hoped we would. Become pessimistically optimistic. Be realistic and don’t expect too much, but also be pleasantly “surprizable.”

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~~ Read about the problem and educate yourself. You never know where you’ll get the breakthrough information you need. For most people, this breakthrough information is part of a chain. You need multiple ‘links’ to get the full picture. Keep reading. Keep learning.

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~~ Live life one day at a time and appreciate the simple things. Be gentle on yourself. I find “The Desiderata” very good. Like “Everybody’s Free to Wear Sunscreen,” it presents such a balanced, universal view to life. It’s fair and objective and informative. These you can meditate over again and again.

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~~ Plan ahead: have things to look forward to. Plan a getaway weekend of healthy, feel-good activities. Write it down so you can feel good just thinking about this time ahead. “Soak” in this feeling.

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Getting through a painful time like midlife crisis is worth it -- hope is suddenly restored and new life is realised from within you. You are challenged and you learn new skills. Don’t forget to keep searching; never give up. Release is probably just around the corner.

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Your pain is normal. In fact, there are many more in our ageing society suffering the same as you are. Remaining balanced, realistic and in control is the key to psychological health at any stage in life, and it’s no different during this phase of midlife blues. Hope is the key. Re-establishing your hope for life and what you are yet to achieve much is crucial.

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© Copyright 2008, Steven John Wickham. All Rights Reserved Worldwide.

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[1] C.M. Smith, Jung and Shamanism in Dialogue: Retrieving the Soul / Retrieving the Sacred, (New York, Mahwah, New Jersey: Trafford Publishing, 2007), p. 5.