The Most Important Goal of Discipleship

“I will not try to run my own life or the lives of others; that is God’s business.”

— Eugene H. Peterson

When we hand our will and our lives over to the care of God, having accepted Christ Jesus as our Lord, we then have one goal and that is to be a disciple – to be a Christ follower.

Being a Christ follower is harnessed in the above quote; our hands are off having to control lives – ours or others. We will need to let go of contentiousness and narcissism. We will need to be entirely willing to have God identify, address, and heal us of our shortcomings.

When we commit to giving up our desire for control, God will test us to see how serious we are. We will be asked to endure some unreasonable things. We will be required to give back to God what he demands we give him back, and we will need to do that willingly. When people hurt us, we will need to forgive them, without any promise that we will get justice in return. It will appear that we will lose out in life, especially as we consider other Christians who have not made such a rigorous holy commitment.

In understanding God is no respecter of individual persons – that he insists we believe upon Christ unconditionally – the offensiveness of the gospel will become apparent. There will be loved ones close to us who will be repulsed at the ‘requirement’ of our faith.

There will be times when our faith will make no sense, especially uppermost in contrast with our lives as opposed to others’ lives since we became Christ’s followers. But we need to recall that life is not necessarily about this life. It can be all too perplexing.

When we habitually turnover our will and our lives into the care of God, which means we are farthest from wanting to control others’ lives, then we come to no real, abundant life.

The abundant life doesn’t come until we have sacrificed it all. God may give us a hint of the life to come, but unless we give over everything we cannot receive everything.

***

The Christian walk – astride the Spirit of God – is nothing if not a full surrender. We cannot know all the blessings of God until we have given our all to God.

We cannot have life both ways; all the blessings of God and pleasures at our fingertips.

Giving up what we cannot keep, we gain what we cannot lose. We cannot keep anything that the world promises, but we will have eternally only things we cannot take with us.

The only thing that matters is relinquishing control over our own lives and others’ lives; for God to become more and us, less.

© 2014 S. J. Wickham.

The Blessedness of Feeling Useless

Feeling useless is liberating when we can accept all we can do is watch and wait.

The theology of Paul teaches us that at the end of our own power comes the beginning of God’s power. (2 Corinthians 12:8-10) So, as a matter of fact, when we are at the end of ourselves, we are never closer to the transcendent power that really could make a difference in our lives.

An expression of coming to the end of our own power is being brought to the state of feeling useless. We can imagine God having orchestrated the circumstances of our lives in order to bring us to the precipice of our lack of control. This is not because God is vindictive. It is the nature of life that God is God and we are not. It is a blessing, always, to be reminded of the eternal order of things.

Being able to do only one productive thing makes things simple. When all we might do is watch and wait, and that is the case in many circumstances of life, the choices for action and inaction come to be straightforward. All we need to do is do what we need to do.

The Shalom of God

This reminds me of the Shalom of God – that smiling face of God favouring us with his empowering simplicity. Even when we feel at the end of our own power, God compensates by empowering us in the simplicity of his purpose.

As we consider God turning his face toward us – even as we traverse hell – knowing his favour abides as we abide in him – that smiling Shalom of God transcends the difficulty, making the reality surreal.

As we turn in the consideration of God turning his face toward us, we see the liberty he is giving us in circumstances otherwise totally de-liberating. Of course, the world cannot understand this spiritual reality; the gifting of God that we call faith. It seems absurd to the worldly and it is absurd in the world’s thinking. But we can know a different reality; to smile through a hardship; to accept what we cannot change; to deny nothing of the truth; to be alive in the midst of reality.

***

When things are against us, God is still for us, and even more so. There can be freedom within powerlessness, patience during testing, and courage that meets and befriends great fear.

© 2014 S. J. Wickham.

2 Ways to Mature, Yet Powerfully Simple Faith

A simple faith is powerful and resilient,

It’s attained through much fiery testing,

It’s owned in the crucible of the persistent,

And God makes possible such surreal resting.

The first way is how we handle our flaws,

With no room for self-condemnation,

Having opened all grace’s doors,

We have paved the way for self-relation.

The second way is how we handle our sin,

Taking full responsibility when it’s others we hurt,

Ownership unto repentance toward all our kin,

Is about having God purge us of all our dirt.

***

There are two ideas showcased here. The first is the achievement of a mature faith that is inherently simple, though not naive. ‘Simple faith’ is another way of saying the gift to faith, such that the faith exemplified occurs as if it were a mystery. Those with such a simple faith can quite easily mourn with those who mourn and rejoice with those who rejoice, no matter what is going on in their own lives. Such faith is a gift and there can be no credit taken for it – except praise to God.

The second idea is represented by the second and third stanzas of the above poem.

Too often we tend to berate ourselves for those mistakes and slips that only cost us. Our negative self talk gets out of hand. But those with a productive simple faith – which is intrinsically mature – can easily find the position of self-acceptance to encourage themselves to get back up. This is the first way.

The second way refers to taking the appropriate responsibility for our transgressions against others – our sin. We are typically too quick to shelter from responsibility. We are too quick to make excuses. Our opportunity is to be honest, and, in that, be vulnerable.

We tend to go to go too heavy on those things that will only cost us. Yet we go too light on those things that transgress others, typically by not taking enough responsibility.

***

We are too hard on ourselves when it comes to ourselves, but we go too easy on ourselves regarding our transgressions against others. God offers us the opportunity to enter into a simple faith, which is inherently mature, in order to not be so hard on ourselves, whilst taking responsibility for those transgressions against others.

Good faith goes light on self-judgment, but it goes heavy in taking responsibility for sins against others.

Mature faith is a healthy self-acceptance blended with a conviction and willingness to repent for sins against others.

© 2014 S. J. Wickham.

Acknowledgement: to Mr. David Michie, pastoral supervisor and counsellor.

It’s Because I Love You

You are my morning and my bright shining day,

I hang on the sound of every word you say.

You are my life when everything else fades,

You are my everything when life cascades.

What you do to my senses gives me my song,

So as long as I look at you I will live strong.

The longer I’ve known you the more I’ve seen,

Just how this love within me sees you as my queen.

Our marriage isn’t perfect, far from it, it’s true,

But I’d remarry you every day especially when I’m blue.

We both love Jesus and the truth must win,

I’m thankful we’re disciples and we try not to sin.

Attractiveness is your strong suit, and wow, you’re hot,

But I can say only physical attraction it definitely is not.

Well, my Princess, I’m thankful for who you are,

It’s because I love you; you’re my bright shining star.

***

She is my bright shining star – she is.

When God promised me a second chance in the field of love and life and family I didn’t quite expect to be so blessed. The truth about hope is that, while hopes are bold, our hopes tend not to be bold enough. God knows. God is good. God is faithful.

***

One thing I have observed about my marriage is the more I have given to it, in terms of my own acceptance and maturity, the more I have seen how I have grown. And I think that is the man’s role; to lead the way in acceptance and maturity.

***

It’s because I love you that you light up my life.

It’s because I love you I will not end up in strife.

It’s because I love you every day I can run this race.

It’s because I love you and through you God shows me his grace.

***

When we sit through arduous things, arm in arm, and back to back, we are a force for each other, and it can even be seen that you are my sister and that I am your brother. Our love is everything and more, and I still stand amazed at the voluminous value of love that God has nurtured in my heart for you. And truly, you give back in many ways that I could only be thankful for.

You are gorgeous beyond compare, and I love it how God has made me new for you. It’s because I love you that I know I am so richly blessed.

© 2014 S. J. Wickham.

Choosing to Be Free to Think and Say and Do and Be

“Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter, and those who matter don’t mind.”

― Bernard M. Baruch (1870–1965)

Every step of our conscious life,

We strive and strain to ever avoid strife,

It’s tiring and confusing and self-anarchy,

When it is our souls were destined to be free.

Relating with people is laden with grief,

The absence of love with some is the thief,

Then there are those who make life worth living,

These are the ones who are continually forgiving.

As we walk this dusty road resplendent of being,

By thinking and talking and very truly seeing,

Best thoughts are best when they don’t escape,

Best acts are best when we can acceptably relate.

***

Authenticity is the glorious reality for the person who fights to retain it; to be as they can be and to maintain what they already have as an essence of their true selves. This is integrity. And to have integrity is to be blessed.

As we plunge through the waters of our realities in life, diving deeper and exploring the ocean floor, and, at times swimming along the surface, we will know various experiences of authentic and inauthentic being with ourselves. Even as we relate with ourselves in a mirror, we will have the opportunity to accept or reject the person who looks back at us from the other side.

Authenticity is finally the grand invitation to integrity.

With integrity is the wisdom to relate well: with God, others, our world, ourselves.

Relating well is the opportunity of freedom from ongoing regret, from resentment, from relying on anyone but God.

And relating well is life. Whenever we are at the opposite extreme – when we are relating poorly – our minds and hearts are occupied with things that are a waste of time, unless there is hope for learning and reconciliation.

When we are free to think and say and do and be then we have the abundant life. But wherever there are encumbrances there is a lack of life. This obviously doesn’t include times when we have the role of restraint. As a pastor I must keep many confidences. As a human being there is also that responsibility. What are in view here are not the confidences we must keep, but the freedom within ourselves to be ourselves. It is blessed to be free to think and say and do and be – to make wise choices because there isn’t any internal limitation against ourselves.

***

Being free under God to think, say, do and be: exercise courage, befriend authenticity, and acquire integrity.

© 2014 S. J. Wickham.

Perceptions and the Reality of Truth In Conflict

Once when Joshua was by Jericho, he looked up and saw a man standing before him with a drawn sword in his hand. Joshua went to him and said to him, “Are you one of us, or one of our adversaries?” He replied, “Neither; but as commander of the army of the Lord I have now come.”

— Joshua 5:13-14 (NRSV)

Favourites are not a game that our holy God could play, and this emissary who stands as the commander of the army of the Lord is not interested in either side of the fight. Joshua quickly realises the ignorant folly of his initial impression; the prophet of God is standing on holy ground (verse 15).

And so do we. We stand on holy ground, as we consider ourselves saved to the Lord for his keeping and his using. If we truly consider ourselves saved we will not be sides to an equation, but we will see, instead, that we are standing on holy ground. We stand before God, even as the Holy Spirit is in us.

The point to all of this is not one side or the other; the point is the recognition that we are standing on holy ground – that we are visible before our holy Lord. And if we show any partiality – when we have vowed not to by the urgency of our initial repentance – we have blasphemed the Lord.

Partiality is the test and impartiality is to be our only response, if we are standing obediently on holy ground.

What are the reasons for our partiality; of our taking sides?

We are coveting what is not ours. We are taking from the Lord. We are executing judgment and assigning blame. We are either abusing our powers or we are proving disobedient to the powers that be. We may both be wrong. If one is wrong then chances are it is the other, also, that is at least partially wrong. One side cannot be wholly wrong, the other white as snow.

It is very difficult in conflicts for either side to honour the glory of God, unless both sides can repent and reconcile.

Comprehending the impartiality of God, then, is a whistle charge for the Christian in the midst of his or her conflict. Our assignment is to honour God by fleeing from partiality. It is to understand the holy nature of the ground we stand on and to commit so far to integrity that we pour contempt on our own pride, praying others will do the same thing, though we cannot afford the expectation they will.

***

Taking sides to a dispute puts at jeopardy the holy ground we otherwise stand on. If one is wrong, usually both are wrong. God invites us into the cherished pasture of reconciliation by repentance, where parties can be restored.

There are three truths in a conflict: two perceptions of truth which are subjective, and one objective truth: God’s reality. Both will need to repent.

© 2014 S. J. Wickham.

Why the Devil Wants You to Not Forgive Those Who Hurt You

The Devil in his cunning,

Wants you to resent,

The person in how they hurt you,

He wants you emotionally bent.

The Devil in his pride,

Allows Christians their hypocrisy,

And so long as they don’t obey their God,

They align to a divine conspiracy.

The Devil in his hatred,

Seeks to create ructions in the ranks,

Where their love is lacking in motive,

Where for others there are no thanks.

The Devil in his greed,

Tempts Christians to leave their post,

To think selfishly against love,

And to give up on God their Host.

***

The Devil will let you do anything, but obey God. This is why those that stand in our way when we are trying to obey are at crossed purposes to God. Any time we resist God by falling to Satan’s cunning, pride, hatred, or greed we go the way of the world and we justify that it’s okay not to forgive. What a reprehensible outcome! To justify the ostracisation of those who claim to love God. Grace can always intercede through faith in even the most difficult of relational situations. It is our lack of faith that gives up on people.

To stubbornly hold on to unforgiveness is to deliberately disobey God. The opportunity, moreover, is to understand that resentment and bitterness are invitations to reconcile. The gift is awareness. And awareness is the invitation to humility – to bend to God’s will, which is to reconcile by letting go of our hatred, greed, and pride.

The Devil wants you to fight for your own justice. He does not want you seeing forgiveness as either possible or transcendent. The Devil is a liar, so just watch for the justifications as they surface in our minds and hearts to limit God’s comprehensive intent for forgiveness. There is only one way to please and honour God: to forgive those who hurt us, unreservedly.

***

Forgiveness may not begin from a heart attitude. It will start begrudgingly. But where we wilfully persist in putting the other one first – yes, at any cost – we will see God’s grace working through us and through them. It won’t happen overnight. We will need to persist; especially as the other person recoils to hurt us (again and again), which is a test of our motive and of our resolve to forgive. Prepare to be tested. It’s not the other person who’s testing us, but Satan, and God knows we can overcome such tests.

We must never set out to forgive for selfish reasons, for we are destined for disappointment. People may say, “Forgive for your own sake...” but, truly, forgiveness is for life and hope in both people, and for life and hope to ultimately coexist between aggrieved parties.

One thing I can say I’ve seen time and time again in my life: there is the real hope of living in harmony with everyone. Even if someone doesn’t agree with you, they don’t have to dislike (or worse, loath) you. When we resist the Devil and shower those that hurt us with grace we do see God’s Spirit at work. Then we believe in miracles; real relational miracles.

© 2014 S. J. Wickham.

Photograph by Fuse.

If You Don’t, You Won’t

If you don’t start, you cannot hope to finish.

If you run before you can walk you will fall over.

If you don’t train, you won’t have the skill or technique to succeed.

If you disrespect your elders, your peers, and your subordinates you cannot earn their trust and you have no love.

If you don’t submit to authority, you don’t deserve to be respected for the authority you wish to wield.

If you ask someone to do something and they don’t do it and you don’t know why you have no place in leadership.

If you don’t try, you will definitely fail.

If you pick yourself up before others notice you have fallen, you never fell.

If you don’t commit to that which your life is telling you to commit to, you are fooled by only yourself and in the company of those who observe you in your life.

If you give yourself another chance you have received God’s grace.

If you don’t attempt great things, great things will never be achieved.

If you love someone even though they secretly hate you, God will give you the powerful ability to forgive them.

If you don’t insure against tragedy, those regrettable events may take place and there will be no recourse to remedy.

If you ask someone the way to go and they tell you, but you ignore them, you will be lost.

If you don’t take a chance on life, life won’t take a chance on you.

If you are prepared to risk, you are prepared to receive a return. But a foolish risk will return you debt of pain.

If you don’t depend on God, you won’t find yourself independent to the world.

If you stubbornly hold to what can never be yours, you will lose everything.

If you don’t woo yourself to virtue, virtue will not be won to you.

If you promise to love gallantly, God will give you that very thing.

If you don’t have children, you won’t have anyone to look after you in your old age.

If you apologise to your child when you are in the wrong, your child will live honestly before you. Your humility enables their honesty and courage.

If you don’t take the steps to climb the mountains that beset you, you won’t journey past them into the golden and glistening vistas that God has ordained for your destiny.

If you moo like a cow and a baa like a sheep when you have young children your children will invest that sort of attention in their children.

If you don’t knuckle down and learn by diligence, you won’t win the acclaim that hard workers win.

If you run after the one who runs away from you in order to make amends, you will win their friendship.

If you don’t push through on the journey through hell, you won’t make it through that dark and desolate place.

If you run too fast for too long you will get tired.

If you don’t choose to see or hear or understand, you won’t learn a thing about life.

© 2014 S. J. Wickham.