Epitome

Saturday, April 18, 2009

Consequences Motivate

Why is it that when a woman visits the hairdresser she takes her handbag with her everywhere she goes? She’s worried it will be stolen. She’s exercised her forethought in an effort to stay anxiety free. In knowing where her handbag is at all times she doesn’t need to entertain anxiety, because she knows implicitly the impact of stolen and misplaced valuables.

Consequences of bad things happening motivate us, but not so much the likelihood of their happening. Consequences challenge us to think differently because many things from a likelihood angle will probably never happen to us, whereas only one serious consequence can abruptly change everything.

From the consequence comes foresight of real pain, discomfort, inconvenience, and even the fear of death. When we think ‘consequences’ we imagine vividly what might occur. We begin to take things more seriously, and more urgent our outlook becomes.

What if we were replacing a high light bulb and we chose a sturdy ladder with which to aid us; the chances of falling are pretty remote. Sure, they’re possible, but most would discount this and take the calculated risk. If we consider the impact of the potential consequences, however, we’ll suddenly think twice. Did you know that sixty percent of fatalities from falls occurred from falls of five metres or less! We could also suffer permanently disabling spinal cord injuries, including the ‘Superman’ injury that Christopher Reeves sustained years ago.

And there’s another dimension to the issue of consequences.

There’s the principle of regret to consider. This is illustrated by the state we might one day find ourselves in when we could only wish for that 30 minutes back; ‘let me go back just half an hour... I’d do it differently,’ we might say. ‘Too late,’ says Wisdom in Proverbs 1. ‘Come again another day.’ (Proverbs 1:20-33).

Regret is a powerfully painful emotion. It might get better with time, but it’s never really attenuated the way we would like. The consequences of our actions or potential actions should, in truth, weigh heavily on our minds, or at least heavy enough to knock some sense in there. This is the platform, now, for action.

It’s the consequence, and not the likelihood of the accident occurring, that is most likely to motivate us to take the precautions we need to. There’s not much closer we can come to a practical wisdom than this, for our physical survival can depend on it.

The Balance of (Personal) Power

Momentum is a crazily powerful thing. Reliving the Piper Alpha disaster (6 July 1988) recently, it was said that one of the key reasons why the two associated rigs (Tartan and Claymore) didn’t shut down their colossal gas feeds to the stricken Piper, feeding the fire and explosions, was due to the momentum of production versus the incredible efforts required in regaining full production (momentum) after an emergency shutdown sequence.

167 people died as a result of the Piper Alpha disaster.[1]

Momentum, once lost, requires enormous costs and efforts to regain it.

Personally, it was apparent to me recently, with struggles ‘re-starting’ a healthy diet regime, that my dreams were awakening me to the past. In the early days of regaining the momentum we’re constantly reminded how weak we presently are, both consciously and subconsciously, and how tenuous the journey ahead is. Yet we best continue one leg in front of the other, focused single-mindedly on our goal.

I’ve found my dreams are a very real indicator of my subconscious mind’s status with regard to my present (at the time) momentum. If I’m dreaming things consistent with my goals, I’m trending well and the journey ahead is clear of potential icebergs.

There are, of course, apparitions and sometimes--say if we’ve quit smoking, and we wake up in a lather of sweat after having dreamt that we were smoking, or if we’re married and we dreamt of being with someone else--we need to put these things behind us, using them as reminders of, and goads toward, the real dreams ahead... our goals.

By and large, dreams show us where we are, or where we could be, and where our fears might lie. Having reformed ourselves from certain vices doesn’t mean we don’t still fear them. A healthy level of fear is a positive, motivating thing.

Progress is an amazing construct. We can look back at the momentum we’ve build up. Keeping it going is the easy thing provided we remain focused one day at a time. Stop it, and like the throughput of an oil production platform and we can take weeks, months and even years to get ‘production’ up and momentum going again. Ask any one-time reformed smoker; especially the ones who never again gave it up, or any of us who lost weight only to regain it again.

Build and gain momentum; don’t be swayed by apparitions; stay focused one day at a time.

[1] More information see: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Piper_Alpha

Dealing with Loss and Hopelessness

We feel it after holidays... an emptiness we just want to escape from. The good time’s over already and we suffer drastically from a lack of hope. Yet, the following day or following week this ‘grieving’ is mysteriously gone and life’s normal again--go figure! All we can know is somehow our minds have adapted back to normality again, fortunately. The hell of hopelessness is gone, for now.

Hopelessness by its very nature is like death but it’s different in that we can’t help reflecting back on better times and lamenting how bad we’re off, now, in that moment.

And what we need, if we’re trying to restore our hope (and not all want to restore their hope--some unfortunately love languishing in hopelessness) is to see we’re not so isolated. We need to resonate and relate our suffering with the world.

We feel better to know the next person feels the same, or at least knows of our pain. Somehow the feeling’s not so raw; it’s halved when we know others feel the same way or at least have felt similarly. This is the great salve of likewise fellowship--those in recovery to addictions, for instance, without the normal strength of hope draw upon each other for light and hope in group therapy.

No less than eleven times the Bible tells that our ‘hope is’ in God. He is a sure hope and a strong foundation for it. We will never be put to shame in hoping in him (Psalm 25:3) because his love is unfailing (Psalm 33:18).

Yet, the greatest and bravest truth lies in the fact that when we’re in the midst of disappointment, torment and regret--and in the personal work associated with it--we’ve got hope right there before us, in our very near future. We have it all to look forward to. Hopefulness is bound to return.

Biblically, we could conclude with the words of Paul:

“But hope that is seen is no hope at all. Who hopes for what he already has? But if we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently.

“In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express”

–Romans 8:24b-26 (NIV).

We can’t see hope, which makes it just like faith. But the Spirit of God knows how to help us when we are feeling hopeless, if we place ourselves consistently in his hands, that is. We can’t explain this; it’s a total mystery of God that only he could explain. This is why it’s called faith. We never get the answers, we must simply believe in faith. And it works, somehow.

Hope, essentially, is looking forward to things, or perhaps better put, having things to look forward to. Hope is balance, and a task of maintenance. We need to attain it and maintain it, or regain and retain it.

Getting back to the post-holiday scenario, perhaps the wisest thing to do prior to going on holidays (and during the holiday time) is to foresee that eventually we must return; and, by virtue of that fact, we must find things there to look forward to.

Friday, April 17, 2009

Reason and Purpose, Simply

A day without purpose is no day at all.

When we think of our ordinary, everyday, breathing lives, there is not a moment that goes past that isn’t significant--and with each moment holding significance, each with golden opportunities to do things, purposefully... with intent, motivated correctly, and aligned with some powerfully focused and directed drive, innate to our spirit--we become truly awake and alive.

A day without purpose is no day at all, and is simply a horrible waste.

Riding the Workload Waves

I have a few occasional acquaintances that really dig surfing, and as I was thinking of them recently I thought this analogy had relevance in relation to life workload (as opposed to the specific issue of a heavy workload at work). I then decided to Google ‘surf terms’ and I was surprised with how many really bodacious names for all things surfing there are. It’s a click all its own.

Life is like the surf.

Riding the wave, workload wise, is a faith-building task. Some waves seem enormous, even insurmountable.

Learning to smile through these is seeing the waves for what they are--mirages of an unmanageable life.

Any purposeful life gets a little unbalanced and unmanageable from time to time. I think they call it organised chaos. I think all of the most inspiring people I know somehow manage to keep afloat in the midst of this organised chaos.

We need to recognise the peaking waves even before they reach us so at least we can ride them armed with some predictability and certainty of an endpoint. From the Christian viewpoint, riding each wave is a fresh opportunity to shine for God; for his glory. This is so others might see our resilience and be inspired to ask how they might deal resiliently too, so we might explain the hope that is within us (1 Peter 3:15).

All things are for the Father’s glory through his Son, even... especially even, those things that are designed to crush and humiliate us; for if they do we can point to God, and if they don’t, likewise, we can point to God.

Time is God’s, not ours. Even though most people are not confounded by time like you or I might be it is an interesting and potentially transformational dilemma we have.

One of the biggest lessons I learned or re-learned last year was this one: riding the workload waves requires a patient sort of faith. The wave crashes eventually and the waters do calm... but only for a while...

Thursday, April 16, 2009

What’s the Opposite of Gridlock?

We’ve all experienced the bamboozling and mind-numbing feeling of mental entrapment. Spiritually or emotionally we’ve cut ourselves off from the Source.

I’ve observed, from a spiritualist angle, the pervasion of the spirit of discord recently and it leads me generally to the same place; that of gridlock.

Gridlock: 1 : a traffic jam in which a grid of intersecting streets is so completely congested that no vehicular movement is possible 2 : a situation resembling gridlock (as in congestion or lack of movement) i.e. political gridlock[1]

The opposite of gridlock, spiritually, is surrendering to the irresistible, ever-continuous flow of God. And this is at once, the easiest thing known to humankind, but also at the same time the most difficult; God needs to break through the tough outer shell of our pride first.

Spiritually speaking, there’s nothing more saddening to see than someone in gridlock against God. The life is perilously close to the hopelessness of the abyss. There’s little hope of returning in these circumstances. While the person remains in the swamp of their own pity, there’s no way back out to the voluminous, living and thriving river of God.

Can’t they see it’s futile? It is perplexing how and why they persist, insisting on their own way, the way of a living perdition.

This is a spiritual ailment, yes! But, it has physical, mental and emotional spin-offs--and all in the wrong direction. It’s honking your horn and road rage, depression and torment, pent-up and full of adrenalin. And, for what? It’s a trap.

And the way out? The choice can be made at any time. We can change tack any time we choose. This is the maddening thing for the knowledgeable onlooker. ‘Just about face’ is what we want to say.

Surrendering to the flow of God is easy provided the person in question can harness the will of their mind.

All that is required is one decision. One decision is all it takes to cause the dominoes of our ego to start falling.

A humble heart needs to direct the mind in these circumstances; and this is not easy because the will is so very strong.

Nurture a persuasive heart, as this alone will negotiate successfully with our mind toward a cooperative and conditional cease-fire.

[1] Source: http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/gridlock

Managing the Minutes and Seconds of Your Life

Many people, myself included, search endlessly through life for the ‘magic’ elixir of wisdom that might prove beneficial by providing growth to a new level of maturity of character.

Is it perhaps a real skill in life to know how to wisely make best use of each portion of time, the minutes and even the seconds? I think so.

Think of the fragmenting that occurs on the hard disk of a personal computer over time. When we ‘de-frag’ the computer we see a graphical image of the disk’s profile on the monitor before us; it’s all the fragments of the disk that have been wedged in there through deleted files and file corruptions mainly. When we de-frag we’re simply compressing all that usable disk memory into a smaller space, to make more space available on the disk for future use, hence a more efficient computer.

Now, our time is not that different to that fragmented disk but the fragments are recorded and imprinted in real time, and we don’t get to see it graphically. We do waste many fragments of time (minutes, hours, seconds) through our days. We could probably argue in different ways that in some seasons of life we waste days, weeks, even years.

The fragments of time that we waste we never get over again. Once it’s gone, it’s gone. The Bible talks about making the most of every opportunity.[1] It talks about ‘redeeming the time’ as if time could be bought with tokens. It implies that we would plan our lives so well and considerably, for each moment, that we’d foresee wasted time and passionately ensure it was covered--staying awake and not falling asleep to opportunities in life.

This doesn’t mean we wouldn’t have down time and time to play and rest. On the contrary, we’d have the best and most rejuvenating rest and play time.

Ghandi once said, “Learn as if you would live forever, live as if you would die tomorrow.” Perhaps that’s the crux here. To commit to lifelong voraciousness of learning and to live so smartly to pretend today was our last, directs a life, doesn’t it?

Managing our minutes and seconds--the purpose of a disciplined, ordered, wise life--is a good way to extract what we were meant to extract from it. It’s there for us; all we need to do is take it... one moment at a time.

[1] See, for example, Ephesians 5:15-20.

Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Dealing with Incompatible Goals

Chances are if you’re stressed, at least part of your problem is due to incompatible goals. Work / life balance is a perennial issue in most of our lives. We can’t seem to manage all the important things we need to all the time. There seem to be many conflicting and incompatible goals. Identifying and reflecting upon these incompatible goals can often be a platform for improved life balance, hope and enjoyment.

In the craft of which I’m a practitioner, the science of cause and effect is core to understanding how to prevent accidents and incidents, both from re-occurring or from occurring in the first place.

This science of cause and effect is very complex, but at its most basic it’s understanding the relationship and interaction of events, the people affected, and the physical and organisational environment, all in the context of time. It operates on a layered “Swiss cheese” model where the holes in the cheese represent faulty safety barriers--barriers that would normally prevent incidents--and when these holes line up in the layers of cheese, an incident occurs.

Incompatible goals are but one of these “holes in the cheese” causing incidents, but they’re a significant hole.

We can see why when we consider people in the workplace often have to juggle production targets with safety requirements, budgetary constraints, and the quality of work required etc.

Incompatible goals are really about conflicting priorities--all things being important simultaneously, or ‘importance overload.’ Often there’s an overflow effect. We can’t have our cake and eat it too. And we can’t expect people to do multiple things both well and simultaneously. The design of the work system can be made too demanding. And one negative outcome is incidents, apart from loss of morale, stress etc.

And the same thing occurs within the context of our lives. Too many activities together--though they all might be important in isolation--create too much ‘noise.’ We can barely cope over the longer stretch of time. Our stress levels build and build and gradually overwhelm our capacity to manage.

In cases of chronic neglect, mental illness can easily result, among other more immediate negative physiological and psychological effects.

Another example of incompatible goals might be dual goals of having fun in life and getting fit. When we strive to eat strictly and exercise during the week and then we let go on the weekend we achieve neither goal. We don’t lose weight or get fit and we’re constantly harassing ourselves over the lack of self-discipline from Monday morning onwards--it’s a vicious cycle.

We’re best to identify where our priorities clash early on before the negative stuff sweeps devastatingly over us. Where we have incompatible goals we should act to alleviate the mismatch in our lives. Some things we’ll need to stop doing altogether; some we’ll need to do less of… and on the other hand, strangely, some things we might need to do more of.

And if we can’t manage our own lives (and many find themselves trapped beyond their control) we should yield it to God, who can help us where we previously found it impossible.

Gaining life balance is a whole-of-life activity. The more effort we put in the more we’ll get out of life.

Mignon McLaughlin Quotes of Note (Part 1 of 2)

This American female journalist (1913-1983) and author of the Neurotic Notebooks and columns in Cosmopolitan and Vogue really did say and write many good things. Here’s a smattering, with my commentary to follow:

“No one really listens to anyone else, and if you try it for a while you’ll see why.”

Listening has its strange rewards, but they’re never immediate. It requires faith to practice effective listening if we’re after reward. The clever do it because they know it’s the only way to interact harmoniously.

“A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person.”

They say marriage is hard work... never, surely! But it is true. If we love it that he talks to us, or that she waits on our every word, why do we stop doing it? Continue courting. The magic starts with you and him or her. One can influence and encourage the other.

“If you made a list of reasons why any couple got married, and another list of the reasons for their divorce, you'd have a hell of a lot of overlapping.”

Marriages break up for the same reason the attraction began with. We stop trying. The antithesis is ‘never stop trying’ and our marriages will inevitably succeed and flourishing happiness can eventually be found or re-discovered.

“For the happiest life, days should be rigorously planned, nights left open to chance.”

Oh voila! Reminiscent of Ecclesiastes wisdom, this quote is about keeping life simple. Only the simple life, with space and room to move, can be happy. We must work hard, yes, but we must also choose to rest, re-create and spend quality time with loved ones--and also find some necessary alone time.

“It’s the most unhappy people who most fear change.”

Go figure. Most change caters inordinately for the unhappy complainant. In fact, this aids change if the change agent is patient enough. The ‘black hat’ is able to influence and cause tweaking departures from the original plan and a better result is achieved--not that the unhappy person would agree... nevertheless, they’ve played their reluctant part!

“Hope is the feeling we have that the feeling we have is not permanent.”

This is a witty truth about hope. We know we haven’t got it anymore when it’s suddenly gone, or as it’s rapidly disappearing from sight. Forlorn sadness envelopes our minds and hearts, and we seek something to restore it... our hope.

“If you are brave too often, people will come to expect it of you.”

This is quite a sad truth. When we enliven people’s expectations of us in our competence in any area, they then naturally begin to lean and rely on us. We can then only (eventually) let them down.

“Learning too soon our limitations, we never learn our powers.”

Negative thinking has a lot to answer for. It’s like standing invisibly on a certain beach in 1916, and looking to your left (landside) at the death and destruction of the Somme without ever looking right--out to the calming, rhythmic seas that never change. Some people never have the presence of mind to look right, and worse still, some simply choose not to.

“Likely as not, the child you can do the least with will do the most to make you proud.”

This is another ‘go figure’ statement that simply reminds us that God surprises us weirdly at times. We must be ‘surprisable.’

Monday, April 13, 2009

Don’t Miss Life by “Passing Go and Collecting $200”

There are shortcuts to everything in this 21st Century life. Generation Y, for instance, are renowned as being the ‘instant generation.’ Everything is available immediately, or should be... apparently.

There’s the instant car and digital television, the instant relationship, then the instant career with its instant promotion, and we mustn’t forget the instant family. And it’s not just the young that want it all now. We’re all caught in this cycle. All things can be acquired with the minimum of fuss these days it seems.

Not so much. Some things cannot be shortcut. Let’s discuss the journey toward holiness:

“Some even believe that by such imitation[1] they have really become saints and prophets, and are unable to acknowledge that they are still children and face the painful fact that they must start at the beginning and go through the middle.”[2]

This above is a critical gem of truth for anyone wondering why their walk with God (and any other ‘walk’ for that matter) isn’t working.

The contemporary Christian life is a lot like Monopoly--the Parker Brother’s game. People will read their Bibles and pray through the motions but otherwise live as everyone else does i.e. not set apart, and wonder why their Christian actions don’t make any real difference. We routinely want to ‘pass go and collect our $200,’ skipping the real journey. We don’t want to go through the middle. We don’t want to suffer the necessary indignities often required of the authentic Christian life, (and then still, we don’t reap the blessings).

Yet, this runs counter to human experience and common sense. Andrew Carnegie was famous for saying, “Anything in life worth having is worth working for.” Life was never meant to be easy, especially for those wanting to shortcut it.

Now we turn on dime...

Life is actually easy for those who embrace the hard thing. Though at times it gets tough, by and large, these have a knack for resiliently paying now and living later, and not the reverse.

“His [i.e. Jesus’] commands are not burdensome” –1 John 5:3 (NIV). The gospel message was never meant to be perceived as that hard to live that it lent itself to idealism, though many millions just simply cannot grasp the message to the Sermon on the Mount, let alone attempt to live it.

Yet, Carl Jung is quoted in M. Scott Peck’s The Road Less Travelled, “Neurosis is always a substitute for legitimate suffering.”[3] In other words, we go out of our way to avoid dealing with the real issues of life because they’re often self-perceived as being too hard for us. But we’re confounded in our avoidance by the fact that we, all too often, develop maladaptive methods, treatments and scripts in skirting the issues we were meant to deal with from the beginning. Pass go and collect $200. We want to escape the middle... the necessary and arduous process. We want to circumvent design. We want to risk our inherent, designed happiness and fulfilment because we think, to our foolishness, that we can achieve it with less than the required effort.

“We intend [to do] what is right, but we avoid the life that would make it reality.”[4] We want something but we’re not prepared to make the sacrifices required to make that something a true, verifiable and cogent reality. We are weak-willed when we live like this, and we know it.

Preparation is everything. “A successful performance at a moment of crisis rests largely and essentially upon the depths of a self wisely and rigorously prepared in the totality of its being--mind and body.”[5] (Italics added.) Actor Denzel Washington has said, “Luck is where opportunity meets preparation.” In other words, there’s no such thing as luck--we’re in the right place at the right time because we have prepared for the opportunity and are able to embrace it when it comes. Looking back, we planned and saw ahead; we then had the courage of our convictions.

The opportunities of life await, and they occur, and they wait for no person. When we’re prepared it’s great; when we’re not it causes us to panic as if the world were coming to an end in that moment.

Why do we want to start and end at the end, skipping the tough but necessary bits? We ask, ‘What will the gospel do for me?’, yet we only realise afterwards that the more pertinent question was, ‘How could I have truly lived without it?’

True Christlikeness “comes at a point where it is hard not to respond as [Jesus] would.”[6] (Italics added.) It’s an inside job based on a full, comprehensive, ‘professional’ commitment toward discipleship.

A life of total commitment to Jesus is not about living worldly ninety percent of the time and expecting to change over in the moment to a different modus operandi, but it’s about living the life where solitude, silence, fasting, prayer, service and celebration--the disciplines of the spiritual life--are key tenets and well practiced regimes.

The authentic Christian life is like the arm I drape around my wife in the church services we attend together. It holds her lightly, not clingingly. There’s balance in the hold. When I’m not thinking I hold her too tightly, and she’s not loved properly. Like the loving and thoughtful arm, the yoke of Jesus is light and not burdensome. If we truly embrace the whole Jesus life we too will see this.

The most important principle is this:

It is hard to live the authentic ‘Sermon on the Mount’ Christian life, but it is harder to live as the world would have us live--the default drive. The latter life involves more pain, all things considered, than the authentic Christian life--much more. In this way, the choice is made for us. The hard choice becomes comparatively easy.

ENDNOTES:
[1] The preceding part of the quote featured reads: “There are many people I know who possess a vision of [personal] evolution yet seem to lack the will for it. They want, and believe it is possible, to skip over the discipline, to find an easy way shortcut to sainthood. Often they attempt to attain it by simply imitating the superficialities of saints, retiring to the desert or taking up carpentry...”
[2] M. Scott Peck, The Road Less Traveled (New York: Simon & Schuster, 1978), p. 77. Cited in Willard (below) on page 7.
[3] Peck, Ibid, p. 17. Cited in Willard (below) on page 7.
[4] Dallas Willard, The Spirit of the Disciplines: Understanding How God Changes Lives (New York, USA; HarperCollins, 1988), p. 6.
[5] Willard, Ibid, p. 4.
[6] Willard, Ibid, p. 8.

Sunday, April 12, 2009

The Veracity of God’s Defence Alone

People fight for their rights all the time. It’s common to the human nature. If we need evidence of this we’d only have to open our eyes and ears to the News or a current affairs program on the television; we’re swamped with ‘who’s fighting who and who’s paying.’

The biblical way, we know, is the reverse, however. Yet, how many of us practice this in our daily lives? In truth, it challenges us all--right down to the heart, which wants to battle anyone or anything that comes against us. It is the one attacked who fears most and reacts most aggressively--we can’t avoid the instinct to do this. It’s core to our being.

And being attacked is a daily situation we all face, not the least of which, when people or situations attack our egos i.e. that thing that almost no one can see but ourselves.

The following two passages are instructional; the latter a contextual paraphrase of the first[1]:

“‘It is mine to avenge; I will repay. In due time their foot will slip; their day of disaster is near and their doom rushes upon them.’ The LORD will vindicate his people and relent concerning his servants when he sees their strength is gone and no one is left, slave or free”

–Deuteronomy 32:35-36 (TNIV).

“Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: ‘It is mine to avenge; I will repay,’ says the Lord. On the contrary: ‘If your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink…’”

–Romans 12:19-20 (TNIV).

This is what it’s about:

What the Lord’s not interested in defending for me he has purposed for me to go through--and in that, without defense from him.[2] There are some things in life we just have to go through, and we can rationalise this as the LORD’s chastising discipline. He’s using the injustice (or the portion of injustice) to mould us into the likeness of his Son--because he loves us. We all have room to grow, whether we’re 9 or 90. Growth is part of our purpose.

So, why do I fall for the 3-card trick occasionally and defend myself if he’s not going to defend me?

Sometimes I forget the instruction of God and I go with my default human nature, attacking as I go, if not in action, certainly within my heart. Sometimes I think he’ll defend me and I’m disappointed in the moment when he doesn’t strike for me; I take things into my own hands. On other occasions, I do have the presence of mind and the patience of heart to wait, absorb and endure.

We need to stay adult[3] and consider the attack… absorbing it and feeling it primarily. Feeling the attack ‘clean’ or in an emotionally clean[4] way is critical to allow God room to operate--if that is his will, remembering that timing and methods, and ultimately choice, are God’s, not ours.

We must simply obey and honour him and leave the judgment of all situations, as far as is possible for us, to him. This is not biblical advice; it’s actually a biblical command.

When all our strength and hope is diminishing and almost gone, God sees. He sees us also attacking others in self-defense as we respond in fear. And he also sees when we obediently resist the urge to strike back as we negate the fear.

He sees injustice and though he is slow to anger; his anger and wrath are sure. We can depend on it.

ENDNOTES:
[1] There is another contextual paraphrase of “It is mine to avenge; I will repay...” in Hebrews 10:26-31.
[2] It is helpful to remember that God is present in all our struggles, as it is written in Hebrews 13:5, “Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.”
[3] Being ‘Adult’ means remaining calm to the emotion of the situation, and essentially being: reasonable, responsible, rational, realistic, reliable, and logical in our behaviour.
[4] Primary emotions are wonderful things; they’re the pre-fall emotional condition i.e. they’re the way we were always meant to feel... yet we hide behind secondary emotions of anger, guilt, envy etc or even go onto tertiary emotions; another step further and untruthfully removed. Hiding emotionally is a sign we haven’t had the courage to wait on the pain of the attack and have moved the pain into a maladaptive function i.e. manifesting it in action to assuage the situation. What do we require to feel primary emotions? A simple courage based in good faith.

Saturday, April 11, 2009

That ‘Magnificent Obsession’: Nurturing & Holding It

I saw Shine (1996) recently for the very first time and I know now why it won many awards, including some for Geoffrey Rush’s break-through performance as troubled pianist, David Helfgott. I also got to learn that the real Helfgott was awarded an honorary Doctorate by Edith Cowan University in 2004, co-incidentally at my now sister-in-law’s Graduation ceremony.

The Helfgott story, as depicted in Shine, illustrates what an external drivenness, and a twisted love, can do to the human heart and mind. Inspiring is David, as he negotiates and masters the formidable Rachmaninoff’s Third Piano Concerto (the ‘Rach 3’), but thrust against it is his traumatic upbringing that reduces his life, paradoxically, to the extremes and inevitably to breakdown and institutionalisation.

The motion picture showcases, to a point, a default effect of untempered extremes and obsessions.

And only recently, I too was reminded by a valued mentor to not go to extremes. His words resembled this piece from Balthasar Gracian:

“Push right to the extreme and it becomes wrong: press all the juice from an orange and it becomes bitter. Even in enjoyment never go to extremes. Thought too subtle is dull. If you milk a cow too much you draw blood, not milk.”

Obsession is not generally met as a good thing in life, is it? It’s not valued universally and it often has its down sides. Yet, the best contributors and highest achievers in history were obsessed in one form or other. A tempered form of obsession perhaps?

As I think of the first serious attempt in my life to master myself, I consider again what I searched for and what is now also before me. The hardcover copy of Success Through a Positive Mental Attitude by Napoleon Hill and W. Clement Stone[1] has graced my shelves for a quarter of a century--I bought it as a depressed and awkward 16 year old. Though it is distinctly humanistic, it brought me some of the light I was searching for at the time.

In this book, the topic of The Magnificent Obsession is unfurled--that of helping people. The principles behind this magnificent obsession are core to the gospel worldview in my observation, but they leave God (and certainly Christ) largely out of the equation.[2]

But, this sort of obsession--a magnificent one--is worthy of any life. “There is something infinitely better than making a living: It is making a noble life.”[3] We see here an obsession of an unusual kind.

Cleverly directed and manifested magnificent obsessions (of which, there is an inherent weirdness about them) can never be truly understood by most others, and certainly not by those closest, but they are nonetheless often imperative in the grand scheme of things.

There are those who will see any sort of obsession as a negative thing--and even the sage alludes to this. Therein lays a classic truth for anyone with a valuable ‘magnificent obsession’ for which they must afford protection in order to preserve it.

We must temper the obsession to the point of its tolerability, certainly relating to others who’ve influence over us.

All obsessions should know their limits, so at least they can continue their vital, albeit eccentric, contributions.

ENDNOTES:
[1] Napoleon Hill & W. Clement Stone, Success Through a Positive Mental Attitude (Englewood Cliffs, New Jersey: Prentice Hall/Angus & Robertson, 1960). Though it is largely humanistic this book does point people in some part toward faith. For instance, St. Francis’ (Serenity) prayer is mentioned. One can almost assume that converts to a positive mental attitude would be led subliminally toward the Church as was the case with myself, personally.
[2] Hence the allusion to humanism i.e. the gospel proclaimed without God glorified in (and central to) the process.
[3] Hill & Stone, Ibid, p. 176.

Friday, April 10, 2009

3 Forms of Sacrifice: Wrong, Right & Saving

I can recall feeling this very feeling before. It’s not nice. Yet I know I’ll feel it again. It involves sacrifice, but the wrong kind. There are two others that are much better to consider. But, firstly, what is the wrong kind of sacrifice?

The Wrong Sacrifice

Waking up on Good Friday thinking, ‘I’ve hardly thought about the sacrifices Jesus has made in the lead-up to Easter’ is a harrowing thought for me; in many respects I have thought about it and him, but I’m mindful that there’s a gap in my heart. We’re also so apt at sacrificing in works what we don’t back up in the foundational faith behind it.

King David, after sinning with Bathsheba, realised that sacrifice without love for God was meaningless and plain wrong:

“You do not delight in sacrifice, or I would bring it; you do not take pleasure in burnt offerings”

–Psalm 51:16 (TNIV)

We forget all too often that God doesn’t require or even want the humanist-motivated or legalist sacrifices, even... especially, when they’re for him. Many of us who minister in his name are often fooled--and God knows it to be our fallen nature; we forget to honestly acknowledge him as he himself requires.

The Right Sacrifice

The gap in my heart mentioned above can be assuaged, pointing not only to a better sacrifice, but also to the saving sacrifice.

King David realised the fundamental principle involved in Godly sacrifice:

“My sacrifice, O God, is a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart you, God, will not despise”

–Psalm 51:17 (TNIV)

God crumbles toward us as we crumble towards him. He loves the oppressed and hurt heart, and can finally, at once, administer his perfect healing grace. When we draw close to God, he draws close to us (James 4:8).

“To do what is right and just is more acceptable to the LORD than sacrifice”

–Proverbs 21:3 (TNIV)

First things need to come first.

Etched all through the Bible is the key theme of right sacrifice--to acknowledge and fear God, who then provides the impetus to good faith, which then propels us (with eyes, ears and hearts attuned and open) to good works. The order cannot and must not change.

The Saving Sacrifice

Jesus. One name, one act. At Easter time, as with Christmas, it’s all too easy to forget the amazing sacrifice of love Jesus made for each one of us, personally. He died a shameful, excruciating death ending a perfect life, and paradoxically, the messianic plan was fulfilled, to the salvation of all humankind in Creation.

“In a loud voice they[1] were saying: ‘Worthy is the Lamb, who was slain, to receive power and wealth and wisdom and strength and honor and glory and praise!’”

–Revelation 5:12 (TNIV)

Amen to that!

[1] Revelation 5:11 (TNIV) refers to ‘they’ as “many angels, numbering thousands upon thousands, and ten thousand times ten thousand.”

Thursday, April 9, 2009

Are You As Prepared As You Think You Are?

It happens for almost every new parent. Having had, in some cases, years to plan and prepare for the moment their baby is finally born, they come to the stark realisation very early on that they hadn’t anticipated many certain things.

From the amount of attention the baby requires, to the loss of sleep, to the smell of baby excrement and vomit--it’s a brand new experience, and often one not cherished at the time. It shouldn’t come as a surprise but it so often does.

This sort of thing can both tarnish the experience as well as educate. But, there’s a broader life lesson here.

From my experience, we’re rarely ever prepared for anticipated major life change at the point at which it happens. We often get surprised. We can think we’re prepared prior to it occurring, but then in the thick of it we realise, to our forlorn dismay, the amount of work still remaining ahead of us. It’s quite frightening, initially.

Knowing this either from bitter experience that has taught us to laugh bashfully now, when looking back, or from simply believing another’s experience of life--an albeit commonplace experience, gives us an awareness that can help.

It can help us in preparing for the next major life change, and the next. Of course, we have to invest the time, also, in preparing for things coming toward us!

Additionally, this doesn’t always help for the unanticipated life change that is foisted on us. What can help in those circumstances is faith in God, our Deliverer. What or who else could help in circumstances well beyond our control?

Unrepeatable Memories: When We Can Only Reminisce

It happens as a young adult, or perhaps in middle age; anytime in life, really. That time, when we’re in an absolute rapture--when life is abuzz with goodness--can never quite be the same again.

“Some memories are realities, and are better than anything that can ever happen to one again”

–Willa Cather.

Almost with a tinge of everlasting regret we consider fondly what was. The times have changed, along with the environment, and the people… well, they’ll never be the same again either. We can try and replicate it but it will never work.

It might’ve been the atmosphere captured at a certain party, or with a team we played with, or even a family that once was--as it was, but is now no longer.

There is the opportunity here, of course, to choose to remember what was with either transient fondness, or allow a painful sort of envious regret--a childlike pining for those times to return. And the pain is increased by our knowing it’s impossible to replicate these memories.

Yet, people try. They try to re-capture their youth, perhaps, that has blown with the wind, long away. And we’re all prone, the more we think about it.

Life has more pain than joy when we’re honest, and in this frame of mind. How do we be thankful for what cannot ever be enjoyed in reality again? Somehow it must be possible.

And it is possible. Reflecting with a humble sadness of acceptance can paradoxically produce in us a quiet inner peace and joy that absolutely transcends understanding. Somehow we just are, and that’s okay. We can calmly smile. We’re very close to God here.