Responding to the spiritual abuse of, ‘God doesn’t give you more than you can handle!’

“… we were so utterly, unbearably crushed that we despaired of life itself,” or in another translation, “We were under great pressure, far beyond our ability to endure, so that we despaired of life itself.” Ever thankful are we for these words of Paul here in 2 Corinthians chapter 1. These words turn against several toxic interpretations that suggest ‘God doesn’t give us more than we can handle’ (viz. 1 Corinthians 10:13). As the apostle Paul suggests, life can and often does give us more than we can handle.

Our ‘issues’ that press us in and around, that cage us in varying oppressions, are not First World Problems, nor are they Twenty-First Century peculiarities wrapped up as Western comforts. These are existential concerns that challenge our very humanity; that of any era.

There is a burden too hard to bear. I’ve had them. I’ve ministered with people who have had them. I know some that bear them right now! Strangely enough, though, at least in my experience, I here attest, God can meet us in these trials not despite these tests but because of them. But this is almost beside the point.

Let’s not get beyond the fact that according to Paul, there are situations in all our lives that are far beyond our ability to endure. These are Paul’s own words. How can we then say, ‘God doesn’t give us more than we can handle.’ The effect of being pushed far beyond our ability to endure is complaint at best, despairing at worst, and at the very pits we run to suicidal ideations. We question our very basis for living. If it can happen for David, for Job, for Jeremiah, for Paul—as the Bible shows us—it can and does happen for us too. These things I suggest are common to the human experience. And whenever we have someone say to us ‘God doesn’t give us more than we can handle’ we either want to throttle them or, worse, we may sink into the doldrums of a life-threatening defeat. Imagine in your ‘counsel’ being responsible for creating such despair that someone ends their life!

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What can we do then, if life throws at us burdens that are too hard to bear? As I foreshadowed earlier, in the very place of being betwixt and between all manner of comfort, of being bombarded from all sides with torment, there is a way through that I’m calling acceptance. This is anything but pretty, but so many of us have experienced this.

Accepting a burden too hard to bear sounds like a complete anachronism; an oxymoronic statement. How on earth do we accept that which is too hard to accept? Well, we keep getting up of a morning, even if some mornings we don’t. We keep putting in appearances at school and work, even if occasionally we don’t. We keep living and walking and eating and drinking, even if sometimes we don’t. Overall, we don’t give up, even if at times we do give up. We live as mortals even if we’re called to live within a spiritual construct known as ‘eternal life’.

In loving God, we accept that God loves us, even as we know we don’t let God down, even when we think we do. This is to be human under suffering. There are many things we feel guiltier for than we ought to; yet we somehow know God doesn’t ever hold us to a standard we have grown to demand even of ourselves. God is gentler on us than we are on ourselves.

Accepting a burden too hard to bear is as much about accepting life will have a great amount of futility about it; such as it is that there are mysteries of life that abound in confounding us to the glory of God. Accepting the mysteries is simply stepping out our journey the best we can, even if many of our steps are missteps.

We may well be excused for despairing of life itself as Paul was. Such a despairing is not even a thing we can control. When the hearts of our minds are burdened beyond reason and rationality, and there’s not a thing we can do to contend with what we cannot bear, we may sense divine empathy. Of all people and beings, God understands; the all-powerful and all-knowing One understands. There is more divine pity for what we endure than any of us can fully comprehend.

Accepting a burden too hard to bear is not so much accepting what we cannot bear, as it is suffering, and a suffering that must surely overwhelm us. We allow it to overwhelm us. We accept that we are in the hands of God, even if that idea doesn’t give much consolation at the time. We hold out in faith that meaning for consolation will come at a later time when all things will make sense. We trust that consolation would be revealed soon, and that the suffering we barely endure may be the means of knowing God in the deeper regions of life.

Accepting a burden too hard to bear is a lot to ask of anyone, but even as you have read these words you may have sensed yourself and your own journey exemplified. Hear God say, “Well done, good and faithful servant; I am proud of you!”