Gut feels are often trustworthy, and we may have had these regularly when sharing interactions with others around the topic of church — their church or yours. Try this on for size:
“My/our church is a very special church.”
How often have we either heard this or said this aloud ourselves? It comes in many forms:
“The way [insert name] runs [insert program] is exceptional.”
Between the lines: the person being commented on no doubt has had success. Perhaps they are exceptional. It’s far more glorifying to God to let the opportunity of acclamation pass by being quietly thankful. Didn’t God give this person everything they have to minister so well? Arrogance, pure arrogance.
“Our members are exceptionally loyal, faithful to the core.”
Between the lines: somehow this church just forgot that every church is full of people who struggle to be faithful; they forgot Who IS faithful. This comment is usually made by a senior leader, and it’s actually saying, “We see your loyalty and we’re trusting you’ll remain loyal, approving of what we’re doing, and won’t challenge our wisdom,” OR it can also be saying, “We wish you were MORE loyal; please be more loyal in future.” This may particularly be the case when they separate out ‘loyal’ ones for special accolades. Calls to ‘loyalty’ are a RED FLAG. Calls to ‘loyalty’ are unbiblical, because so often what is meant is loyalty to a person or people — NOT God. When loyalty is heralded as a value, opposing views are not appreciated. Arrogance, pure arrogance. Leaders who call ‘the faithful’ to loyalty to them are really saying, “You are lucky to be here.”
“I’ve never seen any other [church or pastor] do that [exceptional thing].”
Between the lines: again, it smacks of superiority. It’s like the church or the pastor in focus is not only a walking miracle of God, but viewed by God as the very best in that way. The reality is many churches and pastors are special in some unique way. Glory be to God, not them, and when glory goes to God, the praise is saved for a thankful heart. Arrogance, pure arrogance.
“His [prophetic/teaching/preaching] gifting is amazing, probably the best in the city.”
Between the lines: the fact is his prophecy/teaching/preaching are all gifts from God, and we need to be careful how we ‘thank’ God for the gifts God bestows. God would never want some to feel not-good-enough, or not-as-blessed, because they don’t bear exceptional gifting. God gives generously to all. We really do need to see giftedness through the eyes of God. As the Bible says, little fingers and little toes in the body are to be lifted high. Narcissistic churches and leaders never herald the weak, the lowly, the ordinary, unless it will further their own purpose. Arrogance, pure arrogance.
“Think of the amount of people he/this ministry has saved alone!”
Between the lines: ‘he’ or ‘this ministry’ or the Spirit of God? Really reflects a ministry where man is doing the work not the power of God, and it cuts God out of the picture, taking divine praise and placing it as an idol in human hands. Arrogance, pure arrogance.
“The number of baptisms... and he does such an anointed baptism.”
Between the lines: again, this heralds the value placed in performance, as if baptisms are best when they evoke a great deal of emotion and ‘movement of the Spirit’. God’s Spirit departs when humans begin to put on a show in God’s name. Arrogance, pure arrogance.
“We support [insert mission or ministry] unlike any other church. I mean, I’ve never seen anyone else do what we do.”
Between the lines: what this is really saying is, “We’re more generous — and therefore more loving, Spirit-filled, good and godly — than other churches. Arrogance, pure arrogance.
“I’ve never seen a pastor work so hard and be so sacrificial as ours.”
Between the lines: this statement reveals the stock placed in works — human effort over God’s power. It sounds like this pastor’s commitment to the church is exceptional because, let’s face it, this church is exceptional and entirely deserving of that level of devotion. This comment also indicates other pastors have an inadequate work ethic, because the church in focus here has set a new mark. This comment also says, “Our pastor loves us like this because we’re especially loveable.” Arrogance, pure arrogance.
“Our previous pastor burned out, and since [insert new pastor’s name] has taken over, the ministry here has gone to a new level — we are so blessed!”
Between the lines: pity the poor pastor who burned out. Imagine the arrogance of a person who puts the brilliance of the new pastor above the welfare of the previous pastor who probably gave blood, much sweat and many tears to their church that possibly discarded them or didn’t support them as they should have. Arrogance, pure arrogance.
“Our church is on fire for God and we’re doing God’s will at every turn.”
Between the lines: what this is saying is, “We’re a church where sin is not an issue. We’re especially obedient and faithful, much more than others.” Arrogance, pure arrogance.
Usually what follows comments like these are, ‘glory to God’ or ‘praise the Lord’, as if saying that puts all the glory in God’s hands and makes the person lauding human achievement and gifting seem genuinely humble. No, they just TOOK the glory that ought to be God’s. ‘Glory to God’ and ‘praise the Lord’ was always an afterthought in these situations to make it sound palatable and more Christian.
These comments are usually made by either the leaders or by the fanboys and fangirls of those in charge.
These comments set one church (their own) above all others, and in reality, and unfortunately, many churches and many church leadership teams do this, unashamedly.
Check out the church Facebook page, Twitter, the livestreams, etc. Evidence enough for all to see. Any church that routinely calls attention to itself as superior is courting narcissism.
It’s not your church or mine, the mega-church with thousands of devotees or the little one that’s survived decades longer than anyone thought it would, that deserves special accolades; those accolades ought to go the universal church in honour of and for the glory of Christ alone.
Finally, much narcissism comes out in prayer. If ever there is a place where people are tempted to gush praise full of untruth and exaggeration, it’s in corporate prayer. Anything that is prayed aloud or in secret that isn’t the truth does not glorify God. It would be more refreshing to hear words of repentance, of struggle, of vulnerability, of need of God, and of thanks for God’s faithfulness.
Photo by John Price on Unsplash
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