The tragically common abuse of being bullied into silence

The purpose of this article is to show how common it is to be bullied into silence.  This is a question that came up recently between like-minded individuals, and even though it was only a brief discussion it was absorbing.

These are some of the ways we can be bullied into silence:

Þ           there is the most direct method where the bully overtly threatens us

Þ           there are probably a variety of forms that a bully may use, and it’s not until we begin to chart these ways that we begin to more fully understand the control they’re exerting

Þ           friends and allies of the bully, whilst they may not be overt, exert a powerful covert silencing – the message they send is compelling in that they feel like bullies too

Þ           we may well find that there are formal and informal means of communicating that the main protagonist uses in communicating with their minions

Þ           of course, there is the commonly used non-disclosure agreement or confidentiality agreement – of most concern is when we are manipulated into signing these, and they can be so subtle like a single clause within a statement of understanding

Here are some ways we can feel silenced even if it isn’t apparent:

Þ           others around the bully are either empowered or encouraged to change the topic if and when the topic comes up – which sends a powerful message of what’s acceptable to be discussed or not

Þ           those further removed from the situation disapprove of discussions involving the issues – by curtailing the discussion they have actually chosen the bully’s allegiance

Þ           people within ‘the system’ reinforce unspoken rules, and this is done with such consistency, we are left under no false apprehension – this is almost universal in default human systems of community everywhere

Þ           once some of the above things have been done, we may well feel self-conditioned into silence, experiencing fear, guilt and even shame for ‘complaining’ about abuses we experienced – we jar between needing to process abuses done and not being able to

Þ           when we begin to comprehend how unpopular it is to discuss these things, we begin to not even allow ourselves to think about what happened to us – this leads to diabolical situations of mind and heart

Being bullied into silence is actually an extremely common phenomenon, and it typically occurs whenever someone threatens a system of power.  Most of us probably don’t even think in these terms, and so therefore we may stumble across power games and become inadvertently ensnared.  Especially if it’s the last thing we would be engaging in — power games — we stand most vulnerable to being ensnared.

The only way through these situations in reclaiming those parts of ourselves we lose is to become an advocate.  There are certainly more losses to face in doing this, however, but at least in facing the truth, our identity as no longer frozen by silence.

Silence is a toxic and an erosive experience.  Everyone has a voice, just as everyone earns the right to speak by simply being human.  If anyone were to disagree that every human being has the right of voice, we should get concerned, because there is some motive of control that drives this attitude.

Photo by Maria Krisanova on Unsplash