Even though we have all run on empty in terms of our faith at times, I’m imagining that those faith-stretching times were all part of our plan for growth. How bizarre yet somehow oddly reassuring is it that our faith doesn’t grow without a crisis?
Yet it’s easy enough to say to someone at the end of their tether, “Get through this time and you’ll find you’ve grown,” when in all reality they may frequently think about giving up and may well glare at you within themselves for saying it.
It is such a tragic paradox that the conditions that we grow in are also the same conditions that nearly sink us.
When we are in a position of forlornness, the last thing we may want to do is to reach out to someone. Fortunately, so long as we know a person who is struggling, we can offer our prayer and practical support.
It may mean doing something for them for the present season that they simply cannot do for themselves — and that’s okay. This is not about making them dependent on us; it’s more about being God’s hands and feet to carry them through an arduous time by God’s power.
Using an old AA idea, we might provide a person undergoing great trial the opportunity of sponsorship. As I reflect over the my last 10 years, I know so many people for whom I’ve had the privilege of sponsoring for six or 12 months, and of course the same support has been afforded to me during those many times when I’ve had to depend on others to get even basic things done and to stay afloat faith-wise.
You may be in a position to loan someone some faith. Alternatively, your position might be that you desperately need to borrow faith.
Here is a system for both of you:
If you have faith to loan, you:
· don’t mind giving it free of charge, and feel blessed to do so – what you are giving is the sweetest of gifts, because, unlike normal worldly loans, there is no need for repayment – so, remember it is a gift
· feel equipped to do so, and better, others affirm this calling in you – if you get into areas you’re not equipped for, be humble and diligent and refer them on – you can still lend your faith to them
· are feeling mentally and spiritually well in the present season – so, so important – nobody can draw water out of a dry well – be honest about this
· are willing to listen and pray with them and pray for them – loaning faith is not an advice-giving exercise – it is first and foremost the selfless task of being spiritually present – it is a selfless task
· will commit to not requiring anything of the person or people you are helping – they are not there to serve you, you are serving them remember – you are a gift for this season, so don’t become a chore or a burden to them, especially at a time when they need help more than ever
· will commit to keeping good boundaries – the burden of responsibility is initially and ultimately yours to maintain good boundaries
If you need to borrow faith, you:
· be bold enough to ask someone you trust who you think has the above qualities – remember you have the right to cease ‘borrowing’ at any time
· will be more than glad to open up and receive their help and care – so long as you feel safe and it’s of benefit to you to do so – (I do seriously pity the people who borrow and then are abused — it should never happen)
· might agree to helping discern how much help you actually need – borrow copiously, of course, but not beyond the lender’s capacity – don’t become co-dependent on them
· agree to use what you know in your heart is from God and feel free to leave the rest – feel free to discern what your mind and gut are telling you, so don’t fall into people-pleasing
· could consider paying it forward when God breathes life into your faith again – but remember to only serve within your own capacity
The lender is not a better person than the borrower. There is to be no gloating in the lender and no shame felt in the borrower. Faith moves in such a way that give it a few years (or even months at present) and roles might actually be reversed.
Everyone is allowed to experience crises of faith, because everyone will. And especially in this COVID-19 time we will find very many people whose faith will be shattered. This is no fault of theirs, because there are so many circumstances of loss and change going on for so many people, that it is not an indicator of a lack of faith to struggle. On the contrary, it says a lot about our faith when we can hold on despite the strong temptation to want to give up on it.
Acknowledgement for the inspiration behind this article goes to Ps. Craig Vernall.
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