“Hatred
stirs up strife, but loves covers all offenses.”
— Proverbs 10:12
One of the purposes of conflict
resolution is forgiveness, so quarrels are stopped quickly, for if they’re
prolonged, hatred is stirred up, which leads to strife. And this is a
lamentable result in any event; reprehensible between, or involving, Christians,
who are devoted to their Lord of love.
What love does in us, whenever we
know there’s discord between us and another person, is it compels us to do whatever
we can to resolve the matter.
Love understands that forgiveness
must take place between aggrieved parties.
Love knows that dissension cannot
be simply left as it is, as if it had never occurred.
Forgiveness can be thought of,
then, as something that cannot simply be one way. One could be prepared to
forgive, or to seek forgiveness, to resolve the impasse, but unless the other
party comes some way to acknowledging the damage, little progress can be made.
Simply put, no closure can be
obtained for one when the other party brings closure.
When one person has nothing else to
say or do, the other person is marooned into finding closure when their needs
were not, are not, and won’t be considered or cared for. It stirs up a brooding
hatred in the person, who could be trying to forgive, simply because of the
lack of regard the other person has of resolving the matter to love’s standard
of mutual satisfaction.
***
Love covers all offenses by
agreeing that disputes must be resolved to parties’ mutual satisfaction.
Hatred, however, is content to let justice meander into the wasteland of
self-serving strife.
Taking our ball and going home
leaves the person holding the bat with nowhere to go.
Love does not win unless everyone
wins.
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