EVERY now and then God reminds me of a
truth that we possibly all rail against: we cannot control the direction others
go in, no matter how apt — for their situation
— we think our advice might be. (Please forgive, for a moment, the possible arrogance
of such a position as to ‘know’ what is good for others — much of the time it’s
a folly, I agree…)
It’s the very
definition of frustration: to expect a result that is unreasonable to expect.
It’s unreasonable
to expect another person to see what we see, to believe what we believe they
should do, and to require they act how we would act if we were them.
It’s unreasonable to expect that
they, too, won’t get frustrated. Frustration meets frustration, as one party
frustrated frustrates another. We have to get beyond our mutual frustration. We
have to stop expecting things of one another. We have to stop looking
externally, and allow God to wring us out internally.
Only God Himself
If God himself won’t convict a
person to an attitude or an action, we have no chance.
In that way, it’s easier to
conceive someone coming up with their own ideas for change than it is for that
person to listen to us.
Much of the time I’ve repented of
rebellion or evil against God it’s generally been about others in my orbit being
used by the Holy Spirit. But I, alone, decided. Only the Holy Spirit has the
ability to cause my heart to see the
truth in what others say. My pride would otherwise castigate what God intends
that I hear.
Only God’s truth can convince us of
that which our pride might conceal from us.
We are ruined without God’s
speaking of others’ truth into our hearts. This is why we need each other.
But only God himself will ever
convince us of anything. And God’s role is to humble us enough that we might
simply be open to listening, in order that we might finally see the truth in
what others are saying.
A Recent Example
The person who speaks most truth
into my life is my wife. Yet some of the time I cannot bear to hear it; until
that is I get that nudge of the Spirit, that warm wash of shame, to listen and
admit my error. I’m not rebelling against her when I can’t bear her truth, I’m
rebelling against God himself.
I often like to think I’m further
along ‘the journey’ than I am. I can resent where God has placed me, in this
season and in his perfect will. But the truth is God — in all our lives — has
us exactly where we need to be.
This doesn’t mean that our lives
are always great. Remember that life (from a Christian perspective) is not
about our comfort and pleasure, but it’s about our character development and
practice.
When Sarah reminds me what God
would have me acknowledge, it’s only his Spirit that enlivens me to repent and
to acknowledge it. Sarah, though I love her unconditionally, has little or no
influence. It’s all the Holy Spirit in me.
***
We can’t take people where God is
not leading.
We can’t take people into their
Promised Land if God hasn’t yet shown them.
Helping people with their problems
is about learning how and where God is leading them. Then it’s
simply about affirming and challenging their theology and practice.
This seems like a worthwhile
saying:
When the
Holy Spirit convicts,
The person within commits.
© 2015 Steve Wickham.
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