LOSSES are cruel and yet they’re so completely relevant to life. None of us gets to live life free of loss. Loss implicates us in the process of grief. And grief often doesn’t have a finite outcome. It just is. It is what it is.
We will all experience grief on Mother’s Day sooner or later. That’s not to put a dampener on our day as we celebrate with our mothers. Sure, there may only be cuddles and laughter and gifts and fun at present, but sooner or later we all get blindsided by the truth of loss — we lose our mothers.
What was is no more. There’s nothing we will be able to do about it.
So far as this something that we’ll all experience on Mother’s Day is concerned, here a just a few ways to attain some perspective as a down-payment on the grief we are, perhaps, yet to encounter. We could:
Ø Put ourselves in the position of another’s loss and grief; not just for a fleeting moment, but be there and stay there with them and for them.
Ø Make the very most of the time we have now and make things right in our relationships with our mothers so there is no cause for remorse and regret when mother has gone.
Ø Make a study of all the variation of people’s experiences on such an important day. Not many people are unaffected by Mother’s Day — people either have a positive perception or a negative perception. Social media is a great aid in this way. And it is encouraging to engage with those who are joyous and grieving.
Ø Spend time with a person who is otherwise distant from their mother, perhaps not relationally, but geographically.
Ø Notice those for whom Mother’s Day means very little — and engage with that sadness.
Grief is likely to loom large on the horizon for us sooner or later. If we live a life balanced with that prospect even on the periphery of that perspective, when that time comes we will not be so blindsided.
For those who have already lost their mothers, we salute you in your pain, in your longing, in your joy that she is waiting for you in heaven. We pray for comfort.
We acknowledge your loss. And we especially acknowledge that what is presently such an unbridled joy for us is much more complicated for you. We wish we could hug you, be with you, or shed an honouring tear with you. We acknowledge your loss.
© 2015 Steve Wickham.