Even the Prophet Isaiah felt it—the absence of God’s eternal Presence:
“Truly, you are a God who hides himself,
O God of Israel, the Savior.”
— Isaiah 45:15 (NRSV)
Many friendships suffer from a
lack of nurture.
No matter the seasons of
closeness, maintenance is always a clever byword for friendship, because of
conflict, or the mind’s propensity to invent problems, or just because we lose
touch and, therefore, apparent interest.
Good friendships last because we
were prepared to mow down the barriers to separation and silence; that one or
the other said, ‘enough is enough’, and re-railed what was destined for the relational
abyss.
The exact same thing happens for
our relationship with God.
Maintaining the Bond of Friendship Even
in Distance
The test of separation and silence
is one for each party, except when it’s our relationship with God when we,
alone, our tested. Faithfulness is that test.
We are not tested just for the
sake of it, but to prove, even to ourselves, the bond strength of the
relationship—how much it means to us. It communicates just as much to the other
party, whether they are a friend or God.
Maintaining intimacy at distance
may seem impossible, but the need for the right feelings robs us the opportunity
to still feel intimate—by thought and prayer at least.
Intimacy is the key. At distance
it needs to occur in the mind; but we must nurture the mind in order for it to
happen. And as we nurture good thoughts, and kindly prayers, God instils a
fresh confidence, along with thoughts prompting action, despite the distance.
The Purpose in Friendship
Friends aren’t there to make us feel
good—though that is often the blessing of friendship. They are there as God’s
provision for someone to love. As we need to be loved, so do others.
We ought to treat our friendship
with God the same way.
We are worthy of
friendship—whether with a human friend or God—when we scale the mountain of
desire for the need to be placated. There is profound truth to the old saying, “A friend in need is a friend indeed.”
Friendship is other-focused. The
moment we shift the focus onto another, blessing is ours.
This is when we become the best of
ourselves; when humility springs forth at the requirements of others—despite
the origins of their desires—and not of ourselves.
God uses the model of friendship
in our human relationships to show us what it means to love. Love may be a feeling,
but that is not the nourishing part of life. Real spiritual nourishment comes
when we love—as an action in response to a distant situation or a defined need
of another.
***
Periods of separation and silence
are a test of our commitment. Can we endure them? Will intimacy falter as a
result? Or, will we use that distance to yearn and long for reconnection. Whether
it’s a friend or God, the question remains:
Are we making the next move?
© 2012 S. J. Wickham.
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