Ever hear of stories of respectable professional people who were leaders in their craft, and even effective leaders of people, yet when they were caught out as paedophiles, drug users or alcohol abusers, or wife bashers they almost instantly self-destructed? Once the closet door opened they were seen for what they actually were behind the thin veneer of their public persona.
The vast majority of us live slightly differently behind our closed doors (i.e. at home) as opposed to how we live in the very public world. I know in safety terms it is common for people to behave safely at work, but then almost totally disregard it at home--as if there was no chance of them suffering an injury whilst doing essentially the same activity. The same can be said for how we treat people in our private lives as compared to how we operate publicly. I mean, can you really say, if you’re a parent, that you treat your kids as courteously as you do your work colleagues? Do you treat absolute strangers better?
A wisdom activity is merging both lives, public with private. If we’re seen to be polite and politic, gentle and patient in public, why would we not operate this way with our families and closest friends? It’s the same with our vocations. If we truly love the work we do, it will carry into the private life and influence it for the better.
Rev. Tim Costello says that “the vocational commitment of a soul-searcher will be... transferrable... if we are genuine in our search, we cannot afford to be constrained by the rigid definition of a traditional role[1]... a soul-searcher’s reward is to see his or her work as a brush stroke in a broader picture.”[2] In other words, we ought to be so engaged in our work (as an extension of ourselves) that it has its own intrinsic rewards and we can move between, and not be constrained by, traditional roles. It’s also about having sufficient ownership in our work, but not to the expense of disregarding the overall picture--we are but part of a very big whole.
The main point I want to make is we have this one life and it should not be lived two, three or seven ways. We should passionately find what we want to do in this world and then do it in every form of life whether that’s in public or private. Our demeanour, energy, and passions should be consistent. What we’re known for publicly should ring true privately.
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