Nurturing the kind understanding of compassionate empathy

Saint Francis of Assisi is famous for that line in his prayer, “O Master, let me not seek to be consoled as to console, to be understood as to understand...”

Of course, it’s not just a gift to others when we seek first to understand.  That too is a gift we give ourselves—we enjoy a virtuous power from within, we’re able to discover what and where the problems are so we fix them, we ourselves are equipped as we support others, often we’re appreciated for that support we give, and we simply learn more.  Et cetera.

My message at church this week is about the importance of empathy in “loving one another” as Jesus commanded us to live.  The more we’re able to genuinely sit in the awkwardness of another’s pain, the more they feel connected, the more BOTH our lives are enriched.

The wisdom of life that we ought not miss out on is this opportunity to reach into others’ lives, so they feel connected and supported.  When others get the support they need, they bless us in turn by the bequeathing to us some of their newfound strength and confidence.

Receiving something of another’s newfound strength and confidence is not a selfish goal as much as it’s a gift to others that they have the gift given to them to reciprocate.

It is truly harder to receive love than to give it for a lot of people, for to give love we never feel we owe people.  To receive love surely involves more humility than to give it.

Seeking first to understand gives us the virtue our souls need, that we’re geared better to serve than to be served.

Seeking first to understand means we acknowledge the importance of being understood that much that we’re willing to get involved in understanding others.

Seeking first to understand models to others what you would wish they would do for you.  But to protect us from getting absorbed in what we’re not getting as opposed to what we get, we need to be prepared to sow in faith without any promise of receiving understanding.

Compassionate empathy is such a gift of kindness that it ensures that everyone that comes into contact with us is blessed.  We’re safe.  Our interest is as much in others as it is ourselves.  In having space to offer to others we model to everyone the best way to live.

Think of the loveliest people you know.  These people are comfortable to be around, they don’t add burdens to people, and they genuinely encourage and allow us to be ourselves.