Acceptance that trusts the mystery of what cannot be resolved

I don’t know how many times in my own life AND in the throes of counselling when it is that I or others realise we have come to the dead end of our control.  Our influence for change at times can seem incredibly limited, especially at times when for one change we would sacrifice much to have that one thing different.  But life doesn’t work that way.

Life locks us into realities we cannot change; those which we’re forced to accept, even if acceptance doesn’t feel like acceptance at all.

But an acceptance that trusts the mystery of what cannot be resolved; this is the pinnacle of human maturity — to sit quietly within the lament of such a horrid reality, accepting that we would change it if we could, but that we can’t.

Such a lack of an answer feels distasteful in a world where we pretend we have more control than we do.  We are used to being able to influence people and situations, and where we can’t, it usually doesn’t make a huge difference, but when we’re faced with not being able to influence a situation and that fact causes us a great deal of pain, it can induce quite a crisis; for some in some situations, it’s much, much worse than that.

Without issuing advice that’s only meant generally, we can imagine that the end goal of accepting what feels unacceptable but that which can only be accepted is peace.

Peace has to be the goal where there is only thought of inner conflict.  Those issues in life that cannot be resolved do have potential for peace if we believe that inner peace is possible for accepting what is.

We must have permission to lament, to process, to experience sorrow, to feel angry, to get depressed, to occasionally fall for bargaining or venture into denial.  All these can coexist with an overall state of acceptance.  They can.

When we still our hearts and minds in the lament which is the truth of the circumstances we’re in, we do each and every time land in the psychological place of mystery — and there is peace there.  We can smile as we approach our truth, which is not the one we want.

We can smile in knowing that it’s right that we don’t get everything we want, and that it’s right that we can accept it.

These are the moments when the mystical God breaks through our awareness, where we feel touched by the presence of God.  These are the moments when we agree that God is God and that we are not.

When you think about it, this is the ultimate in worshipful trust.  To accept what God would not change.

Photo by Flavien Beauvais on Unsplash