The Leadership of Kindness

Photo by Andrea Tummons on Unsplash

The world needs more kindness. Not only do you know that, but that’s always been the case.

It’s too easy to locate the problem as one of there being not enough kindness somewhere else.

The truth is our own aspirations for kindness mar its course.

In spruiking kindness, I too often react with incredulity at what I perceive to be a lack of kindness toward me.

In other words, I find it easy to be kind when people are initiating kindness. Or, when they reciprocate my kindness.

But I’m perplexed when people prefer, in my estimation, to be unkind or lack in graciousness. Toward me.

Sure, I’m a sensitive kind of person. I not only think kindness costs nothing, but that it is our human obligation, our human dignity. 

The trouble with my thinking is it’s limited. My thinking doesn’t anticipate consistent unkindness in others, especially those with whom I have ongoing and unavoidable contact. My thinking is too caught up in receiving justice for justice.

If I can trust myself to be kind with those who share my value of being kind to others, then I’m wiser to spend my effort and energy responding better with those who don’t seem to share my value.

Why do they seem unkind? They may see it as superfluity. They may value honesty above love; seeing that truth is the ultimate love. They may also, however, lack the capacity to be kind to themselves. They may not desire my/our kindness. There could be any number of other reasons, many of which we may never be privy to. The truth is, the reason doesn’t matter. It is what it is.

Leadership is influence. If leadership cannot or does not influence, then it lacks the vital sign of the life of leadership. 

The leadership of kindness therefore comprehends the challenge before it.

It doesn’t contend for change with those who engage with kindness. It contends for change with those who resist.

Any lack of kindness toward those who remain unconvinced shows them our lack of resolve.

We must find a way to tap into the power of kindness in the very situations we find are hardest.

The key decision we come to consider is, will we be kind without need of reward?

Will we see that being kind when we’re treated harshly is its own reward, for it is the power of God? To forgive with a forgiveness beyond our human desire for justice.

Will we see that the only opportunity we have to lead with influence is when we react with joy and genuine gladness when someone has repelled us in our kindness?

Every supposed influence is dormant until we meet resistance with unconditional love.

So, today we may make a fresh commitment; to those who seem to war with kindness; to seek out those opportunities that are dynamic; to not be satisfied with benign overtures of kindness that are met, like for like.

The leadership of kindness is overcoming the temptation of being offended by being prepared to meet offence with a grace that can only come from God.

If we’re going to lead with kindness, we will always need to be undergirded by a grace that cannot come from us; a grace that accepts there is a hidden reward stowed whenever we endure injustice; a grace that trusts faith patiently, that good can come from the injustices we bear serenely.

This is a grace that patiently endures hardship for a better prize than what can be won for fighting for our own justice. This is a grace that teaches us as we engage in it.

The more we refuse to be offended, the less overall offence the relationship bears, and the more kindness can grow.