One of the key theological patterns in the book of Acts, I find,
is that of repentance preceding the receipt of the Spirit which precedes the
revival of an individual’s soul.
Indeed, corporate revival relies on the same concept: repentance
of the community that precedes the blessing of God’s Holy Spirit on that
community which precedes a revival within the culture of the community. Revival
relies on repentance.
There is never revival
without repentance.
without repentance.
But what is repentance other than taking responsibility? First
and foremost, owning our personal sin.
In recent months I’ve come to learn much more about the patterns
in abuse, as God continues to call and equip me to minister in that direction.
The hallmark difference between someone who could abuse versus
someone who does abuse is the taking of responsibility. The perpetrator of the
abuse avoids taking responsibility at every turn, and at every cost, and it is
debatable whether they genuinely believe they cannot be responsible for abuse,
or whether they intentionally subvert any accusations against them. The former
is evidence of spiritual deception. The latter is evidence of sociopathy.
The well-rounded conscience receives negative feedback and
weighs it for truth, even when it hurts, because negative feedback generally
does hurt, and because negative feedback is generally meant well. But the
damaged conscience, the seared conscience, has lost the capacity for introspection,
or simply insists on not going there.
The simplest way of saying it is this: the most obvious
indicator of an unsafe person is their incapacity for taking responsibility. If
their default is to blame others for things they alone have control over, there
is a big problem. If this attitude isn’t addressed, if there is no hope for
repentance, it’s only a matter of time before they get themselves into trouble
and others along with it.
Relationships fail for the lack of responsibility.
Unsafe people do not take responsibility.
Safe people, on the other hand,
walk humbly [Christians, with God],
by being receptive to negative feedback.
walk humbly [Christians, with God],
by being receptive to negative feedback.
I know there have been times when I’ve been weak, where I have
been susceptible to resisting and at times refusing negative feedback, and it
has always harmed me, others, and the relationships in view. Nothing good comes
from one party or both refusing to take responsibility.
The key task of life is to
discern well what we are responsible for,
and to take that responsibility.
discern well what we are responsible for,
and to take that responsibility.
Taking responsibility is God’s decree for our lives,
because relationship is the imperative of our lives.
because relationship is the imperative of our lives.
Sometimes we can take too much responsibility, and provided we
don’t ‘enable’ an unsafe person we’re in relationship with (who does not take
their responsibility well), it generally doesn’t cause much harm, and it is
generally very good for us, because God sees the humility in a person living
for peace and blesses them for loving others.
But taking too much responsibility when the unsafe person cannot
or will not take theirs just propagates the pattern of co-dependence and abuse.
The pattern begs to be broken.
Repentance, we should know, is not a once-in-a-lifetime event.
Neither is salvation, because there is a fruit attached. The sign we are saved
in the Kingdom of God is the fruit we bear. There must be signs of ongoing
repentance and fruitfulness.
There must be signs of an ongoing ability
to respond well in our lives.
to respond well in our lives.
And the blessing we receive in taking responsibility is we take
control of everything we can control, and we surrender control for everything
that is beyond our control. And that
is wisdom.
What sets those apart who take responsibility? The ability to be
honest. Responsibility is the ability to respond appropriately to the truth.
Photo by Benjamin Davies on Unsplash
Photo by Benjamin Davies on Unsplash
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