DO it now or do it later, either way the work of grieving just must be done. That’s what I’ve heard so many times.
The transaction involved in grieving a loss is honesty given for the receipt of healing. Honesty is exchanged for, and is prerequisite to, healing. In grief, be real.
The opposite transaction is to delay grieving through denial. To not be honest about it. To go out of our way to avoid its confronting reality. To turn from how life is.
Honesty, in the final analysis, is a wisdom for life, and a grace from God, that cannot be discounted. The capacity to be honest, to ply the courage to grieve our losses, is a gift, for those who are honest often say they can do little else. When honesty can be the only way, we simply must praise God — He made us in such a way as to inherit the wisdom of faithfulness. Not everyone enjoys the gift, but all can ask for it, and God always grants wisdom when we ask sincerely.
Honesty can certainly make things harder initially. It’s often a risk to trust. Especially where others are concerned. Honesty requires courage, which in this case is faith.
Grieving is certainly an up-and-down journey where sudden unpredictable plummets into the pit of an abyss become the norm. Every single time we’re blindsided we need to try to remember that even though the pain is interminably tormenting it is normal. The courage that calls us to accept this blesses us. We’re being honest, and strength is being added, even if it feels we’ve never been weaker.
God goes throughout our whole lives hoping to get our attention. And with grief our self-sufficiency is stalled. When we finally discover our power is insufficient, we turn to Him and find His power was always enough. Then honesty is all we can do.
In every recovery, honesty is the forerunner to healing. God repays our humility to honour the truth, adding within our plight His divine help. It’s always enough.