ONE question I’ve
long asked myself in this season of reflection after our newborn son,
Nathanael, passed away, is, how was that previous season — in the heat of an
emotional battle of grief — together with two other significant matters — at
the same time — even sustainable, let alone a time when our faith shone to the
glory of God? (And I can even type those words with a tear running from each
eye.)
Isn’t it bizarre
that I was, and still can be, so touched by the ethereal sense of loss, yet my joy
has never been compromised?
Although the
time of our loss was jarringly sorrowful, and at the exact same time we were
weighed down by a pressure that should not have been ours, and we were also
caring for someone extremely vulnerable outside our family, we had the gift of
faith to simply step each step without being dogged unnecessarily mentally or
emotionally. God was showing me at least, that, in being stretched maximally,
we had his power if we would simply obey. Not one day during this six month
journey did we ever deny the issues in our life. God gave us the power to be
real. We grieved our son’s gestation and passing, and we grieved being placed
in another untenable situation, and we grieved how much we were not able to get
through in a person’s life we deeply cared for. With triple grief we still had
ample faith to be able to genuinely say, God is good. He proved it to us,
through the invisible ties of our faith, that he is wholly good.
***
Faith is a true
and reliable possession when the storms of life come. And storms do come. When
they come our faith makes us strong, and by prayer we are carried through the
storm.
With faith
strong enough to endure the cataclysm we truly wonder how or why we are strong
enough to step forward into each day. It’s a mystery, but one explained in a
miracle. The fact is it cannot be explained unless we attribute it to two
things: God has sanctified through our previous trials a tried and tested faith
— a faith that stands up under all conditions. Then there is the matter of
others’ prayer. Let’s not underestimate the power of intercessory prayer.
***
Be thankful for your faith.
There is a time coming in all our lives when we will be
blindsided in grief — loss will come upon us like a tsunami, and the torrent
will be sustained for longer than we feel is fair. It comes to all of us, and,
if we are honest in caring about our lives, we will be poleaxed. But if you are
already grooming your faith, you’ll be in a good position. And even if you’re
not, the very presence of grief will steel your faith. This is the hardest thing;
we invariably have to suffer at least once to learn that suffering produces in
us faith for the future.
Suffering reinforces the walls of our faith so the next time
we suffer loss we are able to manage better. It is a paradox, however, that we
are able to feel much more when our faith is stronger. This means future
iterations of loss will be both managed better, yet deeper than ever in our
emotional experience. This has been my experience.
It does not take me much these days to be in tears, but those
tears are within my control, because of the depth of emotion God has shown me
to feel.
© 2015 Steve
Wickham.
No comments:
Post a Comment