Forgiveness is not about them.
It’s about us. It’s about us and our relationship with God, centrally, and only
peripherally about our relationship with them—those that may have abused our
trust. Our forgiveness of others is a direct commentary on what we really
think of God’s grace
as it should apply to us. If we think they shouldn’t be forgiven, perhaps we
think deeper down we shouldn’t be forgiven.
If we limit our forgiveness then
we’re saying God’s grace should also be limited to that conditional extent:
“For if you
forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you;
but if you do not forgive others, neither will your Father forgive your
trespasses.”
~Matthew 6:14-15 (NRSV)
What Is A Divine Must?
Forgiveness
is a divine space,
Of a thing
called ‘consummate grace’,
Certainly
it involves a risk of trust,
But that is, indeed, a divine
must.
So, God’s grace is an
all-or-nothing thing. And because we cannot affect God’s grace—that it came about
via Jesus’ obedience nearly 2000 years ago—we ought to get accustomed to this
divine must. The overriding concept of life, including godly justice systems,
is based inherently in this grace. It does us no good to refuse what is common
fact.
Certainly forgiveness involves the
risk of trust. The trusting party is the godlier one, for they exemplify the
Lord. God trusts us through his love to love others and thereby to follow the
divine model. (In exceptional circumstances—where further trust is likely to be
betrayed—forgiveness is simply moving on with no grudges toward the other
party. The risk of trust is irrelevant and not applicable in these cases.)
It’s a divine must in this: we’re
only blessed through our cooperation. And any lack of cooperation can often be
explained in the following:
Our Attitude to the Receipt of God’s
Grace
What was alluded to above is now
in the frame: if we struggle to issue forgiveness, do we also struggle to
accept God’s forgiveness of us? Many people do. They cannot reconcile
themselves as forgivable. Self-forgiveness is vitally important in receiving God’s forgiveness; comprehending the
magnificence of God’s grace. This is where forgiveness, broadly, gets very
personal.
If there are barriers to our
forgiving other people, we would do well to question deeply our acceptance of
God’s grace as it pertains to our own lives. Have we truly accepted it? Do we feel forgiven? Is there any residual guilt and
shame? If there is, we might be the barrier, not the other person we’re yet to
forgive.
***
Forgiveness is a divine must—life
doesn’t work very well when we refuse to forgive. And difficulties to forgive
are barriers more personal than we realise. Forgiveness is not about them.
Forgiveness is about us; us and our relationship with God.
© 2012 S. J. Wickham.
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